Tyler Morton

Comedian—Soccer Mom—Avid Facebooker—Tiktok @tyler.the.comedian—No I’m not Farva

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Well that’s not good #TikTok

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Nobody completed my new haircut or cool shoes today, being an adult fuckin sucks

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

@earth_tracker You think that’s bad, I was in line at the DMV for 45 minutes today

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

@pizzahut Customer service is terrible, impossible to talk to people on the phone, no repercussions for theft 👍🏻

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

@pizzahut in Bellville Texas decided to give themselves a $65 tip without permission,

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

@pizzahut yo wtf is this

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Making a petition to change the name of “Good Friday” to “Jesus and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day”

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

@dk_fakegod Jesus

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Just realized I’m too tall to hang myself in my house, which is a relief tbh

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

My go to move is asking “do you like that” during sex, but in a non-confident-people-pleasing type of way

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

It’s pretty progressive that the island was wheelchair accessible

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

I celebrated not killing myself with 3 bottles of champagne

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Steve buscemi’s kinda hot

[AlphaFox @alphafox]

Would.

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Stopped going to my therapist because she kept showing me black and white pics of my parents fuckin

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

I think my ex was autistic. She really loved trains ran

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Thought I had body dysmorphia, turns out I’m just fat

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Hey @s8nstan what up

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Gonna sell my soul, fuck it

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

Alexa, how do you summon satan?

[Tyler Morton @ComedyMorton]

The offspring? Oh, you mean meth b-52s