Ryan Michael Coleman

Comedy & sick licks.

[garshmo @garshmo]

Bill Nye fucked my mom in college

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

Parenting isn't easy. Kids can be real jerks. One minute you have the temperament of Mike Birbiglia. Next thing you know you're flipping out like Sam Kinison.

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

In Chris Rock's defense, he did block it with his face.

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

Made a little comic strip

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

Customer Service Professional

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

You never look at someone sniffing their finger and think, "I bet that smells good."

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

Me: And that's 5 times.

Coworker Penny: What?

Me: I'm counting all the times you sigh today. It's a little game I'm playing.

Coworker Penny: Yeah, I bet you're used to playing with yourself.

[Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969]

♫ and she’s watching him with those fries

[Christian Tucci @chrtucci]

I drew this 🐵

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

https://t.co/n4BVTpeoRa

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

One time I talked my co-worker off a ledge. And yeah, he jumped. So, it's not always a good thing.

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

Hey @RickGlassman , outstanding job on #AsWeSeeIt . #TYSO is one of my favorite podcasts. Keep up the great work 👍

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

If Mike Tyson can fight Jake Paul for $50 million, I will fight Stephen Merchant for $30 million. It’s being dubbed “Battle of the Pool Noodles.”

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

New Lay's bag of chips. Looks pretty deep. I better rappel down. BeLay on!

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

@SteveDoesnt Rose Mountain by @Screamales

[Ryan Michael Coleman @ComedyRiffs]

My son is 5. He eats like a slob. I find a lot of the food on the floor. It's as if he's one of those ghosts from Casper.