lumpyspacedaddy

Love will prevail but some of you will have to die

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

@jeremysmiles how can we be in a recession when being the emperors ball warmer is a real job

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

i see white people becoming Chinese mostly in ways of beverage consumption. You can make as many fuck ass apple pear snow fungus juniper berry concoctions as you want but you never learn the casual racism towards southeast asians

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

how tf is jacob elordi gonna be 007 like oh look here comes the GIANT

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

reincarnate in the next year to be dua lipas actual daughter

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

@Jack_Raines i would never leave C anyway

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

i think we’re all evil now. evil has won and good has lost

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

@DD_Geopolitics Colin Jost is doing a better impression than i give him credit for

[david @davidefinitely]

someone used my credit card to take a $30 autism test

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

Need sensible unwavering materialists steering the world so i can practice spirituality and mysticism in protest

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

sometimes you see a tweet so funny the poster could only be a gay guy with substance abuse issues, the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, or recently incarcerated. there is simply no way to tell

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

@MostControPod this is actually the straightest a woman can be

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

i’ve captured that streamer and have seen progress in de-programming him using electroconvulsive interventions. stay tuned

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

bitch remember when i got called a doomer for over a decade and turns out i was just right early

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

@vyaxundpanzer that’s the inspector

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

hate bitches who don’t take their lives serious but hate bitches who take their lives too seriously El*n in that sense should be someone i could hang with but that mf is sooo lame that somehow having more money than God can’t fix his insecurity

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

you never see white people talk about weather anymore, they’re so self conscious about having no personality now

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

not taking GLP-1 because i think this is a test from god and i will be rewarded for my resistance when i die fat and chopped

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

Unfortunately Drake is making good music again

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

cant say anything about Jon Stewart’s spray tan anymore… what are we doing here

[lumpyspacedaddy @ComedySlob]

people with more than four kids shouldn’t get wifi, their opinions should be private