Comic Bible Magazine

stand UP and read THIS! Look for the second coming of the ultimate comedy source for all comedians - comedy professionals and comedy lovers.

[Jim Norton @JimNorton]

THANK YOU! to everyone who came to the 10th Annual Patrice Benefit last night

[Pauly Shore @PaulyShore]

When I was a little kid, my babysitter, Kristine Kenny, used to take me and my brother Peter to the 9000 building on Sunset to watch Marx Brothers movies.

For you stoners who don’t know who the Marx Brothers are, google it. These guys were the originals.

Enjoy.

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

wow. other countries worried about population decline, but India wants to curb its booming poor & illiterate population 😒

[Reuters @Reuters]

Successive governments in the Indian state of Bihar have been aware of the population growth problem in the district of Kishanganj and mounted various programs to curb it. But it's mostly been a losing battle. Let's take a closer look at why

[FunnyFest @FunnyFest]

🚀Do you have 5 minutes of FUNNY and original comedy material? Then take 1 minute to apply now or a chance to share in $5000 in total Cash and prizes, PLUS perform in 3 paid shows in the main Comedy Festival in June.
👉APPLICATION HERE: https://t.co/eKD8yrdsoG

[Dave Rubin @RubinReport]

Ha, this is great. Happy Passover to those who still have a a sense of humor!

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

@IsabeauVidal @ijbailey U say that like anyone who is on the East side knows what's going on in the West side or from downtown to uptown...🤣FDR shuts for motorcades incl. UN meetings. Always Street closures 4festivals, construction, bursts, accidents... And yes, all cops called 2duty fear of protests

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

@ManhattanDA Unless you are a developer who submits false rent rolls/business plans to banks to obtain high financing for rent stabilized buildings on the promise of removing tenants from that affordable housing, making it market rate or condos-also with false statements, defrauding buyers.

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

@angiebulkeley Don't endanger yourself & doggie! The company name must be a vehicle out there, call, tell them it's an ADA and senior issue, it's also illegal to park on a sidewalk, call local precinct non-emergency number get them tickets, it'll stop.

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

@JohnCleese Hoping this is a joke? Scandinavian & Nordic countries are -factually- the most homogeneous countries in the world & will openly equate their happiness & successful form of government to that fact! South American socialism is not equated w happiness!

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

@ijbailey I guess winning team only -but no sports teams or celebrities should be honored at White House- the ppl who help others, like showers for homeless in Harlem, should be honored- All sports teams already honored by trophy, fans and pay. It's sad who the US holds to such high esteem

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

@EddieTheAnvil look up 'activate muscles'. Back when I could, exercised daily but didn't see much change until I found a site about activating muscles, simple brief exercises that "woke up" muscles-did them, then the same routine I had always done... and finally body change was noticeable.

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

@EddieTheAnvil Don't be so hard on yourself, if you know what happened/those hand gestures mean you're one up on me...

[Lewis Schaffer @LewisSchaffer]

I'm doing my standup comedy this Wednesday in Ipswich with Michael @TheBernician and Craig Campbell.

Close to Norfolk, Suffolk Essex and Cambridge. Say hello at the show!

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

well at least they know what it's really like to be a woman -since most hetero men more interested in pleasing themselves 🤣😇

[Billboard Chris 🌎 @BillboardChris]

The President of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health — a man named Marci Bowers — admits that none of the boys who started on puberty blockers at Tanner Stage 2 have been able to have an orgasm as an adult.

He then starts spitballing about what to do. Kids are guinea pigs to these child abusers.

[Alonzo Bodden @AlonzoBodden]

Thanks to San Francisco's @KALW for chatting ahead of my show Thursday (4/6) at @CobbsComedyClub.

Give it a listen:
https://t.co/Sp7Oq4jVOC

[Edinburgh International Festival @edintfest]

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https://t.co/TPyYQAZzQD

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

How? ALL animal abusers are not nice ppl-how any person can ever harm innocent pets/dogs is beyond comprehension to many black ppl too. Since being caught he seems to have learned to respect animals, that is commendable but may still b hard 4 animal lovers-of any race-to forgive

[Jim Norton @JimNorton]

The @bertkreischer roast is LIVE NOW!

https://t.co/HgizSsLmCd

[Nour Sleiman @nourcsleiman]

This is absolutely hilarious.

@TomCotterComic take a bow 👏

https://t.co/2d1A2Kfe5s

[Comic Bible Magazine @ComicBible]

@LewisSchaffer Happy Birth Anniversary!