Steely Dan

It's all good

[Witch @witchwounds]

kind of embarrassing to laugh at a joke that someone makes it’s like. ohh i’m pregnant with your humor,, i’m giggling and it’s yours

[Charls Carroll @goodcharls]

So I was just officially hired as a faggot and a writer for the New Infowars which has been pretty good so far. Jokes shall be going 100% classic pedophile from here on out so I hope you all enjoy the new direction. I’d like to thank Harvey Milk for getting me into comedy I’m gay

[Moongazer @joeybeastmarket]

Awful librarian bitch at the local bookstore (perfect double D bust) was apoplectic and had a complete meltdown when I asked her if their banned books section included Camp of the Saints. “No… we don’t carry that. Isn’t that the racist Nazi book?” Her scowl reveals her septum piercing. My hand briefly hovers over my concealed carry Ruger .357 before I snap out of my gamer rage. Not today. She’s not worth it. “No it’s the book about the endless horde of brown people invading our nations and killing everyone. Sound familiar?” She does not like this. I egg her on further: “…is it banned from this store?” Immediate hysterics. Calling me every name in the gay race communist book. She sounds like evan loves worf. Her beauty contrasted with her despicable leftist political beliefs confuses me until I analyze her microexpressions and realize she has areola shame. Must look like a burnt pancake under that bra. No wonder you’re so miserable. “You got gross nipples bitch” I say in a Jesse Pinkman voice before making an overtly sexual bust-a-nut gesture with my hand toward her chest. She’s in complete shock. I walk away and go to the counter to purchase my copy of Light in August. The cashier is an H1-B Indian who is physically incapable of saying the word “receipt”. He needs me to sign it despite me paying in cash. “Saadr yowre dwree— recdr— werdceit please?” I have visions of rivers of blood. What the fuck are we doing here man. You should start running. You’re not safe here. You’re not where you think you are. A man taps me on the shoulder and asks me to leave the premises. Dominican rent-a-cop. The busty libtard librarian with fucked up titties grins smugly from behind him. Don’t care any more. Not my fault your shits all blotched bitch

[Steely Dan @CommadorC]

@dovahtoorIF Saw it this morning. My tent enters the room before me. Almost knocked out a great dane stepping off the bus.

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

Fat battle axe of a wife shaking her rolling pin at the door to my masturbatorium: “Get outta there and take out the trash already!!!”
Me, pleasure helmet on, VR visor pulled down over my eyes, getting domed out by an alarmingly young goblin girl: “Nah yet…

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

Growing up I saw my dads dick a lot - hed get drunk and wander around with a shirt and pantless like porky pig - it was short but really girthy like a fleshy donut and as a kid I thought oh that’s what a grown ups dick looks like but I never saw another dick like that again

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

I told shortie to put her pussy on the phone and she actually did and it spoke to me in a voice that sounded like breaking branches and told me the exact hour of my death

[Steely Dan @CommadorC]

@dovahtoorIF The carpenter bees are about...

[Sick Animation @SickAnimation]

Call me Benjamin, cause I be nettin’ Yahoooooo!

[under age mindset 🧊 @pervitinyummy]

"You're a good boy so you're going to keep stroking it for mommy until we give the ruling okay?"

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

I started going on Grindr as a “troll”, I figured it would be a perfect platform for my kind of edgy humor. But, like a troll, I only ended up getting sodomized under a bridge

[DovahToor, IQ 208, 7'1, PhD @dovahtoorIF]

Gay for pussy

[Steely Dan @CommadorC]

@dovahtoorIF The japanese gotta get it together man

[Steely Dan @CommadorC]

@DogFromHalfLife Classic

[Mr. S.T.A.R. @favelaoverlord]

If you walk into a hotpot place as a white boy who speaks Chinese a huge alarm bell goes off in the back and then something happens that I cannot say

[Steely Dan @CommadorC]

@favelaoverlord I just hope It implodes at this point, just put down. There's pretty much no one left from what I hear

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

@DailyLoud I’d be jacking off in the classroom like a retard

[Det00 @Hoodvidsdaily]

fell asleep at the salon wit my girl and these mfers thought itd be funny to paint my nails i got court tomorrow too and i cant get it off i got hot pink nails rn and im a whole ass nigga going to court tomorrow

[QuaaLud Aberg @28ozPorterhouse]

Steely Dan Sunday