Commodore Osmium

Founder of Space Force. Strongest man in the galaxy. Genius. Poet. Hates meetings, gravity, and weak coffee. Fueled by bacon, burdened by brilliance.

[Commodore Osmium @CommodoreOZ]

In deep space, there are no signs prohibiting smoking cigarettes. Stay free! — Commodore Oz

[Commodore Osmium @CommodoreOZ]

There is no “s” in Guardians of the Galaxy. In fact, Guardian is a singular word.

[Commodore Osmium @CommodoreOZ]

I was tasked with standing up a Space Force Special Forces unit. To date: zero worthy candidates. Too much enthusiasm, not enough orbital lethality. I prefer solo ops, but I’ll be at #SOFWeek in Tampa feigning optimism. Manage your expectations. #SpaceForceSOF

[Commodore Osmium @CommodoreOZ]

@Wendys, the #Baconator title goes to the first guy to eat bacon in space. That’s me!

- Commodore Oz

[Commodore Osmium @CommodoreOZ]

My Commodore hat is both a fashionable masterpiece and an engineering marvel—designed to keep me grounded to Earth between Space Force missions across the galaxy.

And no, @JohnMayer, you can’t wear my hat. Stop asking.

[Commodore Osmium @CommodoreOZ]

Gravity never held me down. Bureaucracy tried. Both failed.

– Commodore Osmium

[Commodore Osmium @CommodoreOZ]

People are appalled that I’ve never even tried to quit cigarettes. I’ve got the strongest will in the galaxy—I just happen to like cigarettes. Same with strong coffee. After navigating dark matter storms and landing blind on a collapsing moon, I figure I’ve earned a few luxuries.

[Commodore Osmium @CommodoreOZ]

Just returned from Wolf-987. A quaint little rock with Zero Yelp reviews. Space Force? Triumphant, again. And…You’re welcome… again.

[Commodore Osmium @CommodoreOZ]

Ne gravitate deprimaris.

“Do not be weighed down by gravity.”
- Commodore Oz