( Without Seth there , the home is nothing more than a silent house. Its warmth has disappeared alongside them and left Beau feeling hollow.
Still he will not chase Seth , not this time. The damage has been done and the consequences will be visible in the morning light.
⤾
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( his breaths become laboured when finally , he allows himself to collapse into a dune in the middle of nowhere , far away from the collapsed temple he frequents because he does not want to be found this time.
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that is the reason. […]
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⤹
Beau takes to the couch. Crawling into bed knowing his husband won't join him is too much to bear. He'd rather stay curled up out here , even if it is uncomfortable on his swollen body.
His eyes may finally fall shut , but his sleeping expression remains tense.
⤾
( he watches as his husband turns away. Chooses to keep silent as his stomach cramps painfully , as if their child is trying to crawl after its father. Tucks the ache away deep into his chest. If Seth believes in suffering alone then so shall he. )
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( he feels it chilling him , and he can’t bear it. this is a fight he cannot win but if he goes down , he must look good doing it. like the sacred bull of apis , he huffed proudly , chest out and eyes raised. though his whole body was tense , […]
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( he just stares up at the other man , like those pink eyes are searching their very soul. A gaze that sinks beneath the cracks in their armor and opens them up for loving scrutiny. )
. . .Okay , Seth.
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what facade ? it’s who i am.
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( a part. a very small part ; the seth that still growls over scraps and snaps his jaws when a hand is placed upon his shoulder. cornered , anger flares , ready to protect him , but anger for whom and […]
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there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of self—love.
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( he often speaks to others this way , like a cornered animal that pretends it still has cards to play , though more—so with a snarl. he can’t bring himself to go so far with his beau. )
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of course it is. i’m great , so it’s silly to think you’d want to leave.
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( he spreads out his arms , daring to take up space , only to turn around and cross his arms again. )
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( his jaw is tensed. he doesn’t even realise as he looks down at his feet. if he could feel such a thing , it might have looked like he were afraid. )
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are you going to leave ?
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I love you , dearest. But I don't have the energy to explain it all again at this moment.
The only thing I can say is to look inside yourself and wonder why I would be worried about my husband's wellbeing.
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yes. just watching that would be boring.
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anyway , can we not wait until nightfall to sleep ? i don’t want to sleep all through the day and then be awake all night.
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