Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ

ㅤㅤ𝑺𝒐 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 『мιи∂』 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔,
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐『γου』.

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

ㅤㅤㅤ𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈,
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒆𝒏𝒅.

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

⤹

It does not matter when the sun rises , because he won't rise with it. Staying asleep is his only reprieve from the pain of loneliness. )

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

( Without Seth there , the home is nothing more than a silent house. Its warmth has disappeared alongside them and left Beau feeling hollow.

Still he will not chase Seth , not this time. The damage has been done and the consequences will be visible in the morning light.

⤾

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
( his breaths become laboured when finally , he allows himself to collapse into a dune in the middle of nowhere , far away from the collapsed temple he frequents because he does not want to be found this time.
⠀
that is the reason. […]
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

⤹

Beau takes to the couch. Crawling into bed knowing his husband won't join him is too much to bear. He'd rather stay curled up out here , even if it is uncomfortable on his swollen body.

His eyes may finally fall shut , but his sleeping expression remains tense.

⤾

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

( he watches as his husband turns away. Chooses to keep silent as his stomach cramps painfully , as if their child is trying to crawl after its father. Tucks the ache away deep into his chest. If Seth believes in suffering alone then so shall he. )

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
( he feels it chilling him , and he can’t bear it. this is a fight he cannot win but if he goes down , he must look good doing it. like the sacred bull of apis , he huffed proudly , chest out and eyes raised. though his whole body was tense , […]
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

( he just stares up at the other man , like those pink eyes are searching their very soul. A gaze that sinks beneath the cracks in their armor and opens them up for loving scrutiny. )

. . .Okay , Seth.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
what facade ? it’s who i am.
⠀
( a part. a very small part ; the seth that still growls over scraps and snaps his jaws when a hand is placed upon his shoulder. cornered , anger flares , ready to protect him , but anger for whom and […]
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

Is this truly what you want to do ? Use this facade of yours in front of me , lie to your wife as if I don't know any better ?

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of self—love.
⠀
( he often speaks to others this way , like a cornered animal that pretends it still has cards to play , though more—so with a snarl. he can’t bring himself to go so far with his beau. )
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

What was all that ?

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
of course it is. i’m great , so it’s silly to think you’d want to leave.
⠀
( he spreads out his arms , daring to take up space , only to turn around and cross his arms again. )
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

I'm not thrilled , but I'm not going to leave just because we disagree on something. Our marriage is much stronger than that , silly.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
because i’ve been bad.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

Leave ? What are you talking about ?

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
( his jaw is tensed. he doesn’t even realise as he looks down at his feet. if he could feel such a thing , it might have looked like he were afraid. )
⠀
are you going to leave ?
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

( sighing again. He doesn't know how to make them understand if they don't by now. )

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
i don’t know why. i’m strong and capable and i’m not in pain now.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

I love you , dearest. But I don't have the energy to explain it all again at this moment.

The only thing I can say is to look inside yourself and wonder why I would be worried about my husband's wellbeing.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
but why ? i’m fine now. i recover quickly.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

I'm more worried now than if you had just told me.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
you know now. i won’t wake you just to worry you.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

The point is that I'd still know. 💧

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
there wouldn’t have been anything you could have done.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

Instead you don't sleep for two days instead of telling me that you're hurting.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
we are. i don’t say that i’m okay when you notice that i’m not.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

I thought we were doing better in this regard.

( sighing , rubbing at his belly. )

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
i have to do it on my own , for the same reason i’ll never take painkillers.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

I'm not asking about how strong you are. I know my husband is strong.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
i should be strong enough to be able to.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

The point of marriage , of being a family , is that you don't have to deal with it alone.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
i can deal with it on my own. there’s no need to wake you up over it.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

If it comes from you , it's never a bother. Especially if my hubby is hurting.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
i’d hate to bother you.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

You should've woken me up then. You don't have to suffer alone , darling.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
i tried to sleep. it was impossible last night. i worked too hard. my whole body was in agony.
⠀

[Pαɾαɱσυɾ ᘻ @ComposedAllure]

Then don't stay awake for two days. Honestly , you make me so worried when you says things like that.

[— ✧.* 𓂀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗺. @oasisdevoid]

⠀
yes. just watching that would be boring.
⠀
anyway , can we not wait until nightfall to sleep ? i don’t want to sleep all through the day and then be awake all night.
⠀