Cookie Riot

Just your everyday knucklehead who is ready for the good life (which might happen to include sensible gun legislation and affordable healthcare for all).

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@MBoy3838 @JasonIsbell You "cancelled" tickets that you'd already bought and paid for? That'll show him!

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@Flawless_Cowboi Borrowed a car to take me on a first date; referred to car as “a set of wheels.”

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@notherPunkChef @KITH_quotes After all this time, I absolutely still say this when looking at a nice night sky... My husband no longer feels that he has to laugh politely when I do so, but that’s not the point.

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@MoMcCormick7 Your love, support, and celebration of your brother is a beautiful way of honoring your mother, and honoring all the ways that she must have worked hard to raise her children so well.

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@maljoylove @RohitaKadambi https://t.co/l1AZBIT8Qp

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@CoreyRForrester Thank you for this well-deserved shout-out!! The action is so perfectly spot-on, and all of the young actors go completely ALL-IN with their performances. This scene sums it up perfectly: https://t.co/HKeU2Z2RJ9

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@FrankConniff Yessss! Hadn't actually re-watched it in decades. It didn't just hold up, it felt completely current. I'd buy that for a dollar!

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@LuxAlptraum Raises hand sadly….

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@_ipno_ Done!!!

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@jaredkushner Wow, 634 likes after nine hours... That's like, DOZENS of likes per hour! You must be SO EXCITED. America really loves you!

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@torriangray She is very busy, with a full schedule of turning food into puppy.

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@torriangray I CAN'T STAND THE CUTENESS I WOULD EAT THAT LITTLE BABY POTATO LIKE A TATER TOT I WOULD

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@Wonder4Woman70 @GamedayMilk @JayWeber3 Interestingly enough, their parish website lists many community and outreach programs, and not one of them mentions drug addicts or street ministry. It’s a real mystery, fa sure.

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@Wonder4Woman70 @GamedayMilk @JayWeber3 By all means provide me with the name of the organization that you work for, and I will be pleased to make a donation. I definitely want to counteract all the drugs that those white people are bringing into your city… Fa sure!

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@Wonder4Woman70 @GamedayMilk @JayWeber3 Hahahaahahahahaaa…. Oh fa sure you are! Big time. Helping those drug addicts, like all conservatives do…. Fa sure.

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@jonahray Just finished watching…. This was SUCH a good one. Much needed, many thanks. 🖤

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@maxgotjokes After 6 months of really good work for a new employer, I sat down with the agency CEO and explained why I was asking for a raise. I'd drained my savings and was maxing-out my credit cards to live on the chump change they were paying me...Yeah, I shit-canned myself. It got better.

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@blainecapatch @MJMcKean This list should be retweeted in its entirety every 10/7 for generations to come. Establish the date as a national holiday: Now THAT’S What I Call October 7th.

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@GOPLeader Yeah, thoughts and prayers for all of you sanctimonious, craven dipshits. Absolutely.