Daniella Sowers

If the trust is there you shouldn't have to sneak and look through a man/woman's phone.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it.

[Andrea Randolph @vyshegorodskik1]

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

He never forgets his wife's birthday. It's the day the ambulance usually picks him up from work.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

"You actually have friends...?" "Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD!"

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't find something? MOM!

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

Sometimes it takes losing everything you thought you needed, to gain everything you ever wanted

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

I named my penis "The Truth" because bitches can't handle it.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

Dear Google: Please stop being like my wife. Kindly let me complete my sentence before you start to give me suggestions.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

Ignorance is bliss... unless you have a wife who keeps making you aware of it.

[Joanne Andino @1978Gigashvili]

No matter how bad you think your day is going remember that there are people out there with face tattoos.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

He who falls in love in bars doesn't need a woman all his own. He can always find one on loan.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

*Browsing Facebook* *See's bitchy status* 78 COMMENTS! *Gets popcorn* This is gonna be good.

[Dorothy Pettigrew @ikyzajche]

Yelling random numbers when someones counting. You are truly cruel!

[Sandra Streets @RqZkhorenkov]

"Hoes Went From " Duck Duck Goose " To " Fuck Fuck Loose " From " Ring Around A Roise " To " Fuckin All Da Homies "

[Mary Beard @79Elfiya]

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long for fat people.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

Grammar is important. For instance, commas save lives: Let's eat grandpa. Lets eat, grandpa.

[Sherly Mathews @94Sabaneeva]

Why are children obese? Probably because burgers are $.99 and salads are $4.99.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

The 1st restaurant on the moon didn't do very well. It had great food but no atmosphere.

[Molly Digirolamo @shedzl1]

Shit happens , just flush the toilet and move on.

[Daniella Sowers @CoolErida]

"Omg! You have grown so much! I remember you when you were just a baby!" "Who are you?.