Daniel Heffner

This account has been selected for preservation by the Library of Congress as being 'culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.'

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

I, for one, would definitely love to see a full-on TV show, or least a limited series, featuring @FreddyLA7 and his friends as they continue to explore the US.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

I'd like to start doing something that I could never do in my youth, and that is bribing people.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

@Wisdom_HQ 2

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

What if Philip Rivers coming out of retirement is just a stunt for Jake Paul to secretly play linebacker for one game?

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

I guess Kirby Smart died for about an hour on Wikipedia tonight. Glad to see that he's still alive.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

Of all the football teams that I cheer for, including my own fantasy teams, the one doing the best so far is Virginia Tech, who is 2-4. I hate football.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

@a9ymous I can't tell if this is serious, but it is the actor from Community.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

If the acceptance speech money tally goes below zero, does the Boys and Girls Club of America have to pay @natebargatze? #Emmys

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

@mustbemarisa87 It was fairly excruciating in person. At least Lucas Oil Stadium was nice and the Colts fans were polite about it.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

Aaaannnddd I just found out that he's five days younger than me.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

Matt Prater is 375 years old.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

@AvantiWestCoast I'm on a train with my family, including a toddler who needs to go to bed, at Warrington Bank Quay and it's not moving. What is a reasonable time to expect arriving back at London Euston?

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

Daniel's can't-miss super delicious happy summer fun time drink recipe.

1. Blend Watermelon and drink.

That's it, that's all you have to do. Enjoy.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

How is Ariana Grande going to sit down in that dress? #Oscars2025

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

The New York Giants watching Saquon win the Super Bowl.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

Looking back, the 2000-2009 decade was really the golden age for New Year's Eve glasses.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

If you started the @Colts defense and lost your fantasy championship this past weekend, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

It looks like I'm going to win my fantasy matchup because of @JaredGoff16. I'm going to buy him a pizza.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

God bless whoever invented the smell- proof insulation on diaper pails.

[Daniel Heffner @CoolHandDan26]

Due to urban sprawl, the meadow in which the snowman was to be built is now a condominium complex. You may construct the snowman in the playground area with a reservation, but it must be destroyed by COB. Thank you. #walkinginawinterwonderland