Bryce the Builder

Hotter than a two dollar pistol

[Bryce the Builder @CooleyBryce]

Spitz cracked pepper are the best sunflower seeds

[chelsie brianna @chelsiebrianna1]

For thanksgiving this year I’ll be thankful 2020 is almost over.

[chelsie brianna @chelsiebrianna1]

@CooleyBryce hey, keep your hands to yourself 😚

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

They say childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience...

Maybe I was too young to remember, but I don’t think it hurt that much...

[TimTheRasta🇯🇲 @Haljieman]

My toxic trait is that I expect everyone to have common sense and get mad when they dont

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I always knock on the fridge before I open it.

Just in case there’s a salad dressing.

[Bryce the Builder @CooleyBryce]

I’ll be in Florida for 10 days on Tuesday and I don’t know if I’m more excited about the beach or barbecue.

[chelsie brianna @chelsiebrianna1]

That beer on the beach in 6 days is going to taste really good, holy shit

[PP @ogbrandondagawd]

my fish just had a baby so we celebrating

[CBS Sports @CBSSports]

Trying to tackle Mike Alstott seemed like the least fun job in football...

(via @nflthrowback)

[Bryce the Builder @CooleyBryce]

Today is Cinco de Mayo, which is also taco Tuesday, which is also in the middle of a pandemic named after a Mexican beer. If that’s not a good enough reason to kill a whole bottle of tequila than I don’t know what is.

[Bryce the Builder @CooleyBryce]

@chelsiebrianna1 Should I be scared?? 😉

[chelsie brianna @chelsiebrianna1]

A puppy in 8 days, 10 day trip too Florida in 28 days... this is the real test @CooleyBryce hope you love me lots ☺️

[Bryce the Builder @CooleyBryce]

I feel attacked

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I don't trust stairs.

They’re always up to something.

[Sav @sav_wil]

@CooleyBryce

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I recently switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack....

She hasn’t realised yet, but the thyme is cumin.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I warned my daughter about using her whistle inside and gave her one last chance.

Unfortunately, she blew it.