Corey

Rousing public speaker afflicted with agoraphobia. Mermaid who forgot how to swim. Beautiful fatty. Oxymoron.

[Corey @CorForks]

There are two types of people in the world: those who don't get Jeff Goldblum & those who think they get Jeff Goldblum.

[Corey @CorForks]

@peteholmes aw Petey, I haven't laughed this hard in so long!!! This special is so amazing!

[Corey @CorForks]

@Google 😭

[Corey @CorForks]

I hurt a man's feelings tonight. I'd call that a successful date.

[Britni Danielle @BritniDWrites]

Wrote about so-called "missing white woman syndrome" back in 2014. Back then, upwards of 40% of missing folks were people of color and yet the media only covered white women like Gabby Petito who disappear. It's worth asking why. https://t.co/zsnMxMuoun

[Corey @CorForks]

Paramore-Pottermore cover band - The Voldemores.

[Corey @CorForks]

You ever sit in the mirror practicing your smile? Like, how dead is too dead behind the eyes?

[Corey @CorForks]

@jayduplass

[Corey @CorForks]

@Ragnarogatory @sleeves87 @peteholmes

[Corey @CorForks]

@theallenbrand NJ, in all it's glory (Philly accent laid on real thick here)

[dom nero @dominicknero]

trapped in the quarantine with your south jersey boyfriend

[Corey @CorForks]

My next dog I'm going to name Someone. So whenever anyone asks me if I have plans or if am busy I can say "I'm hanging out with someone, sorry"

[Corey @CorForks]

@PierceGardner @peteholmes So...this isn't Peter Serafinowicz?

[Randi Lawson @RandiLawson]

a Pride of lions. a Murder of Crows. a Weak-sauce of republican senators

[Corey @CorForks]

Not for nothing, but every year starts with the death of a beloved celebrity. So, let's not get too hyped for 2021. #HappyNewYears

[Corey @CorForks]

If I like a photo of your child and dog, please know it's just for the dog.

[Corey @CorForks]

How's my mind? I read the words "far apart" as fart. So... That's how it is.

[Corey @CorForks]

@Danielle_Nellie @peteholmes @rejectedjokes Thank you for reminding me of this. I needed it when I first heard it. And I needed it now!!

[Randi Lawson @RandiLawson]

Chris Pine is his stage name. His full name is Christmas Pinetree

[Corey @CorForks]

@alyssalimp Mine always asks "what's new this week?" Just a great sense of dread than last, but still dread!! Thanks for asking doc!

[Corey @CorForks]

Who old am I? I'm "sit in my car in the driveway when the sun is just right to pluck white chin hair" years old.

[Corey @CorForks]

Philafuckingdelphia, you beautiful city.
#FuckTrump