Corn

If l'm not brainwashed, man, I'm trying to be

°21°

[Elijah the Sprunki Fan @SpanknMySprunki]

when a solar flare hits your amazon firestick while watching the amazing digital circus and pomni starts twerking in slow motion

[John “The Neanderthal” Fetterman @CavemanSenator]

Hiring the national guard to prevent my wife from shaving her bush

[ravens @_R4V3N5_]

is there a way to permanently be under the effects of two beers

[Jub @youcantbreak]

Evergreen

[27. @dimvji]

i should've locked in when i was thirteen

[enki @Enkiwii]

mon corps est une machine qui transforme les liens hypertextes wikipedia bleus en liens hypertextes wikipedia violacés

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Funniest joke ever is too long for Twitter, but it's about a duck that walks into a bar day after day, asking, "Got any grapes?" If someone knows it, tell someone else.

[grace @gracefishlove]

ur hating on me and im kinda seeing where ur coming from

[: @sn0oozey]

This is my circus and I’m one of the monkeys. I’m the best monkey. I give it my all every single time.

[chad @chasedbywasps]

unfortunately, nobody knows if drinking beer and playing video games all day is good or bad for you

[Film Updates @FilmUpdates]

Rhea Seehorn photographed by Carlijn Jacobs for W Magazine’s TV Portfolio

[NYC Sanitation @NYCSanitation]

NEW YORK CITY YOU LISTEN TO ME! IF YOU’RE NEAR SOME TRASH RIGHT NOW, ANY TYPE OF 24-HOUR TRASH, GO DISPOSE OF THE TRASH RIGHT NOW AND PUT YOUR HAND INSIDE THE OFFICIAL NYC BIN! YOUR TRASH IS OUR TRASH AS OF RIGHT NOW. CONGRATS KNICKS 💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡

[Polly Pocketknife🌸🔪 @polypocketknife]

i hate what we’ve done to nerdiness. the average nerd isn’t even smart now they just like slop. they watch long youtube videos where someone explains obscure star wars expanded universe lore and half the time the guy in the video didn’t even read it he’s just reading wookiepedia.

[🐱 @LegHvmper]

I wish avoiding someone as teammate killed them in real life

[EMG Max Ketchum @MaxKetchum_]

My mayor is Muslim, my pizza is Italian, I’d kill myself before cheating on Megan Thee Stallion