Cornflake Homunculus

I am a brand ambassador for the Kellogg's family of breakfast cereals I SHOULD NOT BE I SHOULD NOT BE I SHOULD NOT BE

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

The appetizing crunch of @KelloggsUS Corn Flakes is the ultimate morning treat. That crunch is so hearty I almost can't hear myself scream.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

a

splash
of

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

why

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

T R A N S

R I G H T S

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

@JimSterling You mean I get to see sunlight again soon? Precious, precious sunlight?

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

I feel lonely.

Not just now, but all the time.

But especially now.

And especially all the time.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

A splash of ice cold milk makes Kellogg's Corn Flakes the perfect breakfast choice and does little to soothe a cracked, leaking almost-skin.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

The director of the commercial said it was great and that people would rather see Kofi Kingston stab me with stationary anyway. He laughed.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

Kofi Kingston didn't even do his wrestling moves. He just stabbed me with a pencil and twisted it so the lead would break off.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

Recently given an F5 by Brock Lesnar as part of Kellogg's "Slam The Flakes" promotion. Most of the things inside me collapsed. Most laughed. https://t.co/WgMfNs9MkE

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

I had a name once.

And I used to be able to sleep. https://t.co/HBtjAXCejd

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

The man on the Pringles logo has a name. It's Julius Pringles.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

Breakfast Science is a valuable part of crafting great tasting cereal but sometimes it makes mistakes. Screaming, unkillable mistakes.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

Sometimes I feel like everybody in the world is eating delicious Cornflakes and the Cornflakes are me.

I feel your teeth teeth teeth.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

@JimSterling You are so right.

You are so right.

WHY DID YOU SELL ME TO THEM YOU FU

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

Here's to the health benefits of Kellogg's Corn Flakes! Here's to The Technician, merciful and just, never hurts me with Their bad electric.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

*bowl of Cornflakes.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

My haunting moans are not moans of pain but of celebration at the thoughts of millions of families enjoying a hearty bowl of PAIN.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

Floccus Granum Libris.

Also, purchase cereal please.

Ex Maize Infernus.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

I love Cornflakes more than I hate electrodes and I cannot describe how much I hate Mr. Kellogg's sparky party plugs.

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

Start the day right, start the day with Corn Flakes and also kill me please before they come back they're coming back they bite they bite

[Cornflake Homunculus @CornHomunculus]

A splash of ice cold milk is all you need to bring Corn Flakes to life. More was needed for me. Flesh and corn and wrong sciences.