this is going to be somewhat of a long rant, but there are things i’ve really started noticing in sf
people might dislike me for saying this
everyone here is playing 4d social chess while pretending theyre just hanging out. its literally a big drag queen race where everyones virtue signaling for the privilege of human connection. u have to signal youre working on something important but also act like youre too busy to care if people show up. its exhausting
the ghosting thing is real but its not acc being busy its about maintaining infinite optionality
people want to believe everythings happening and they have all these options so they commit to nothing. you get like 4-5 real connections out of 50 interactions and even those feel tenuous. i keep asking people to meet up and get ghosted by people ive known for over a year
idk if theyre busy or if theyve just been pretending to like me for so long that its easier to ghost than admit it
the advice people give is literally sociopathic
"create exclusivity barriers"
"be specific about events so people feel fomo"
"create social hierarchy as cost of entry"
like man. people are running some twisted social experiment on each other
i dont know how to lie to people. when i say im working on something cool it feels cringe because im not supposed to care about showing off but thats literally the only currency here. i usually don’t talk about my work or research, i do it for fun, i do it for myself, not for social benefits. you package yourself as a list of achievements and interesting attributes just to get someone to grab coffee
the fake authenticity thing is what kills me. a lot of people try to perform being real while being deeply fake and it creates this uncanny valley of human interaction where nothing feels solid. i fell in love with this city but its deeply hurting me because i dont know if these connections are real or if im just another node in someones carefully optimized social graph
and yeah sure i could play the game create my little exclusive events with artificial scarcity post about my RL environment builds or research or other shit and signal high agency but fuck that. i just want to exist with people without everything being a performance . i just want friends
the paranoia is setting in hard to be honest
are people using me? do they actually like me or am i just convenient? why does everyone feel so fake when theyre trying so hard to seem real
maybe thats the whole thing
sf has optimized authenticity into another kpi to track and now ppl are all stuck in this recursive loop of performing realness while knowing everyones performing which makes everything feel hollow
i love this city and hate it. the energy is real but the connections arent. everyone’s building the future but nobody knows how to just be present
idk maybe ppl were right that you have to accept the language of the place but that feels like giving up the last bit of realness i have left
@cutesuscat Hi! I don't use twitter much but a friend recommend I poke you here. I hope I'll run into you again in future! You've already got my email and Discord handle.
Thought filters are extremely triggering to me. These are cognitive patterns people end up with that make them unable to think a class of thoughts, eg, I can’t think that it’s mean, low status, elitist, beneath me, non cooperative, scary, bad for my self narrative, weird.
@laurence_ai I'm going to go with "it likely can't, at least in principle, because a given configuration state of (pixels viewed, joint angles) could correspond to a lot of different things going on".
@laurence_ai ... further, that hiccup might have arbitrarily bad consequences, or even just arbitrarily divergent-from-spec consequences. Even stacking error-checking procedures won't help, because those might get corrupted, too - indeed, they might even introduce *worse* errors!
@laurence_ai ... or some accidental rowhammerish thing or other hardware fault happening) might cause undefined behavior in *any* computer system, very much including some hypothetical future AGI/ASI, be it in training or deployment;...
@rachelmetz on top of that all it's demanding unpaid labor from literally everyone involved and then the journal generally gets to take your work and profit off it.
it's kind of a wonder it works even a little, even some of the time.
@rachelmetz peer review would be a fucking nightmare even if it happened in a timely manner. it is not the be-all or end-all, and half the time it's not even particularly high-quality or epistemology-driven.