Reginald Schwarmer

Enthusiast of sorts | Self-acclaimed | Sports Genius | Professional | Former Expert | Companion

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Lebron just turned 43.
https://t.co/ZZ83nMvCSe

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

@NikMilanovic @MrBeast @twifintech 5% cash back on feastables

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Not to be mistaken with “butt and nose”

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

You know what they say — irony has a button nose.

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

It has become increasingly apparent that I must address what happened. Last night at circa 9 PM, the guild alerted me that my last tweet violated the oath. I have since removed the tweet and will try to work on myself.

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Alive fish smoking a cigarette. Soak that one in. Would an emoji place well after that statement?

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Pro tip: if you are ever low on money just go to one of these free money sites. They typically have cash and no one seems to want it. Only do this if you want to get rich fast. I think the tip is to have the money.

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Drew Carlton at the yellow light: I should probably slow down in anticipation of the red light. Also I think dominos has a special going on right now

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

No, not McIntosh. Green apple.

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Also I have tried the gain pods and prefer them to the more in vogue tide pods. Gain’s green color makes them taste better. I think it’s apple flavored.

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

For everyone asking me to start a podcast, I appreciate the sentiment, but unfortunately will have to refrain from doing so. I lost my voice practicing spells the other day and it hasn’t come back.

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

@TheHoopCentral @ohnohedidnt24 Will he be in his chair or on the couch? I must know LeBron. You have 24 hours to respond.

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

To everyone who is constantly spamming snarky replies to my “wizard” tweets, you’re lucky to have them in your world. I wouldn’t want to anger them.

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Wizard in congested traffic on the freeway: “Holy crap this is gonna take a long time to get home. If only there was a faster way.”

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

John: looks like David
David: is John’s twin

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Wizard after not lasting long in bed: “Wow I’m sorry. I wish I could’ve lasted longer but that was still some of the best I’ve ever had. I really cherish our relationship.”

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Murderer at the murder party be like *looks around* “so guys what’s on the agenda for tonight?” *has a knife*

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Wizard playing golf be like: “huzzah” *makes 18 hole in one’s in a row*

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

I was today years old when I found out

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

Do not ask about the Western Seaboard.

[Reginald Schwarmer @CorrectTakesGuy]

PSA: The government tried to ban boomboxes in late 1990’s after the disco renaissance. It wasn’t until the advent of the miniature pod that disco was fully restored in the Eastern Seaboard.