Erren Franklin

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@Chri55yBaby hey Chris! I have a message I’d like to send you. Something joyful and kind. Can I have your email? - Erren

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@seanmoon with certain extreme exceptions, everyone should be embarrassed. Working through embarrassment is a key to spiritual growth.

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley yep

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@seanmoon I thought about you after I wrote that- you were outspokenly skeptical of them way back in blitz days. Before it was cool!

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley oh okay, I got you, so you masturbate in order to better care for grandma? That's super cool of you

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley yeah but for who? For numero uno baby. That's the definition of selfishness

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley I can think of one. Hint: some people do it in the shower...

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley the essence of true Christianity is service to others. We waste water, Jesus walks on it.

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley I hope you're being sarcastic, I was really reaching on that ine

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley I don't trust compliments. I tweet to vent, so I can make room in my head for more garbage #modernexistence

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley what kind of room has no window? The kind of room that grows on a plantain that is past its window: a mushroom.

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley but it's not unusual for always to sometimes mean usually

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

Does baby want baba? Asking for a friend.

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley that one guy did it

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley you should know by now that if someone tried to call me an intellect I would deftly dodge the label

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley social media rampages are the next best thing to therapy

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley you do that?? Why? I'm open to there being a legitimately good reason

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

@austinbardsley just for kicks!

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

Who let the dogs out? Asking for a friend.

[Erren Franklin @CouchCandy]

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow? Asking for a friend.