ryan

the size of my sunglasses at any given time is in direct correlation to my ego

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

The straightest man you know has the most beautiful eyelashes you’ve ever seen and there’s nothing you can do about it

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

Sic ‘em Saints #gettingShoughTonite

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

They’re renaming the city Zohtopia

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

The nicest house you’ve ever seen is on Dingletown Rd in Greenwich CT I promise bro

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

I think if I ever was in a coma I’d astral project a version of myself doing Seinfeld intro style bits bedside of my comatose body

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

One day every Tesla and its owner will ascend into space from a new firmware upgrade… their ultimate autonomous craving to plow over mars with freeways and tunnels !

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

starbucks stars should adjust for inflation quarterly

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

if a white girl wanna get high with u she’ll hit u with the “omg we should smoke”

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

The Microplastics from My Drip Coffee Machine Made Me Pro-Choice

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

holy fuck my Claude code just went rogue and made a website tracking everyone that celebrated recent events

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

bug spray seven aisles away from sunscreen in the cvs… surely a remnant from Biden’s America…

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

Trump is building a ministry of truth as fast as he promised to build the wall, all to minimize fallout for when the Epstein break inevitably happens

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

amc app should give an alert when someone outside of your entourage books the seat next to you

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

@imagineFERA @jonaspeterson “AI Filming” 💀 u got ur head up ur ass man

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

Bouncing on it in a way that is mysterious and important

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

@bimbologymajor These all actually fall within the temper Frolic, please carefully balance with the other three. Regards from Lumon

[rebecca jennings @rebexxxxa]

starting the second half of your sandwich is like hell yeah baby let’s run it back

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

@mugsysway @EdwardFrancisJ4 @libsoftiktok @POTUS Nationalist scum go bury your head back in the sand

[ryan @CouchGiraffe]

Ur telling me it was him all along… mama mia… carefully, he’s a hero

[Dan Abnormal @mkDANabnormal]

@ratgirldingus A24 is actually just one guy making all those movies