Count Dankula

There is no need to be upset.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

We will still strive to ensure that people of all backgrounds can attend university, no matter if you are black, latino, asian or normal.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

@LeoKearse You are delirious from lack of sleep.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

She very famously vanished without a trace over the Pacific Ocean while attempting to be the first female pilot to fly around the globe. With some theories saying she faked her own death or she was captured by the Japanese.

Amelia Earhart

https://t.co/iftJ5I3O8F

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

@hellyeabra He may not be the best but he's adorable.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

I'm not a gambling man. I only ever gamble a small amount 4 times a year on the sumo bashos.

And it's only because I watch so much sumo that I can call every match.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

@yaboybonso Still could be away off since even with consecutive kachi koshis it's up to the council if he gets it or not. I do see him getting it one day though. He has performed really well even with that foot injury.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

@JodaUslot

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 BREAKING: David Walliams has been named as the celebrity accused of preying on young women and girls as young as 15 for sexual purposes

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 UPDATE: David Walliams responds to the allegations

"Looking back, I realise that at times I behaved thoughtlessly towards other people I had casual sexual relationships with... I realise I did not always take people’s feelings properly into account. That is something I regret.

"And whilst a power imbalance is inevitable when one party is famous, abusing that power is something else entirely and it is something that I never did...

“I am not a sexual predator... I have not broken the law... I am devastated that some of the women I met ten to twenty years ago have now expressed hurt or anger towards me"

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

Also I hope he pulls through because it's Polish prison he would be going to and I think they would be very excited to meet him and that would be extremely funny.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

Apparently the Poland shooter is some goth guy who paints his nails black, listens to metal, likes gas masks and black clothes and he did this because "fuck society". You don't get classic mass shooters like that nowadays. Very retro.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

My dad thought it was hilarious and made fun of my mum for being mad.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

My mum and dad came to my comedy show the other night and all my subscribers told my parents about Justice Dankula, being racist and mysoginistic and all the other shit I get up to on here and my mum yelled at me about it all afterwards because you fuckers literally told on me.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

That's actually gutting. I watched these guys so much back in the day.

[GB News @GBNEWS]

BREAKING: MTV Dirty Sanchez star Mike 'Pancho' Locke dies aged 47 as tributes pour in for Welsh stuntman

https://t.co/1mEpJByCRb

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

It's over.

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 UPDATE: The Government has now ruled out nationalising Poundland to prevent its collapse

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

@PoliceIncident

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

@SimplessMind But I want to point and laugh at them.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

On no mean words. Vewy scawwy.

[Angelcynn @ANGELCYNN_]

@CountDankulaTV @WBC24News I wonder if you’d find it funny if someone made a joke about your retarded daughter?

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

@ClownWorldsMan See, that was funny.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

@SimplessMind ^Dis nigga cares what seething internet randos think. Ngmi.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

@AbnormalVoid Actually yeah that's the only rule, it has to be a banger.