Bachelor of Hearts

Clan: Makiika | Totem: Mbogo | Motto: Mpa Ateghola ... | Fraternity: @gonyaamafc | Profession: The Economy is History
Raison d'etre: Aut Caesar, Aut Nihil

[Bachelor of Hearts @Count_Isabirye]

And so it begins.

[Isa Metrics @isa_metrics]

One goal: to be the leading provider of statistical and historical records on sports in Uganda.
We believe sports data tells compelling stories that can help bolster performance, fan engagement and policy impact.

[Bachelor of Hearts @Count_Isabirye]

In the words of Mutesa II, "... (Ugandans) admire a certain plumpness!"

[Bakhit™ @bakhitmiqdad]

Now that I’m well rested, I saw like only two fat Kenyan women. What are we feeding our huns?

[Bakhit™ @bakhitmiqdad]

Now that I’m well rested, I saw like only two fat Kenyan women. What are we feeding our huns?

[ghoster @ghoster202756]

@uncledoomer

[SourYoghurt @Nukelimer0x9]

Your dad literally.

[ISHMAEL. @Ishmaelthehost]

Eno Prom ya Makindye S.S sajitegedde!🙌🏾😂😂

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

PODCAST ALERT

@EricButime joined @ewabwire2008 and @kihumuroruben to discuss the Enterprise Cup finale, Women's Rugby as well as the ongoings in the Men's Premiership and proposed variations

Dropping soon 👀 ⏳️

#FatCatsPod

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

🗣🗣"Let's find a way to meet these Kenyans outside the international season .... and calibrate ourselves at a club level"

@EricButime makes the strong case for Uganda to regularly play against Kenya in rugby tournaments such as the Enterprise Cup

Watch here: https://t.co/bTW3Bb0RjP

#FatCatsPod

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

LAST FIVE ENTERPRISE CUP FINALS 🏉

@piratesrugbyUG travel to Nairobi to face @RfcKabras in the 2026 Enterprise Cup Final.

Pirates are Uganda’s first finalist in the Enterprise Cup in 56 years.

2024/25 Season
📌Venue: ASK Showgrounds, Nakuru
📌Winner: @RfcKabras
📌Result: Kabras 33 – 12 Menengai Oilers
📌Ugandan presence: Kabras: A. Mugerwa (starting prop)

2023/24 Season
📌Venue: RFUEA Grounds, Nairobi
📌Winner: @RfcKabras
📌Result: Kabras 32 – 20 KCB Rugby
📌Ugandan presence: Kabras - A. Mugerwa (not in matchday squad)

2022/23 Season
📌Venue: RFUEA Grounds, Nairobi
📌Winner: Kabras Sugar RFC
📌Result: Kabras 30 – 27 KCB Rugby
Ugandan presence: Kabras - A. Mugerwa (starting prop)

2021/22 Season
📌Venue: RFUEA Grounds, Nairobi
📌Winner: Kabras Sugar RFC
📌Result: Kabras 09 – 06 KCB Rugby
Ugandan presence: Kabras: A. Mugerwa (starting prop)

2018/19 Season
📌Venue: RFUEA Grounds, Nairobi
📌Winner: Kabras Sugar RFC
📌Result: Kabras 37 – 07 Impala Saracens
📌Ugandan presence: Kabras - P. Wokorach (10 points) // Impala: S. Kivumbi (try)

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#FatCatsPod

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

NUMBERS - UGANDAN PLAYERS IN THE 2026 ENTERPRISE CUP 🏉🔢

Uganda’s Top Try Scorers
2 – Jeremiah Okello (Pirates)
1 – Alex Aturinda (Pirates)
1 – Conrad Wanyama (Pirates)
1 – Andrew Odhiambo (KOBs)
1 – Jordan Bongomin (Heathens)

Uganda’s Assist Leaders
2 – Alex Aturinda (Pirates)
1 – Timothy Kisiga (Pirates)
1 – Joseph Oyet (Heathens)

Uganda’s Top Points Scorers
15 – Yasin Waiswa (Buffaloes)
14 – Malcolm Okello (Heathens)
11 – William Nkore (Pirates)
10 – Jeremiah Okello (Pirates)
08 – Rasul Abiriga (KOBs)
05 – Alex Aturinda (Pirates)
05 – Conrad Wanyama (Pirates)
05 – Andrew Odhiambo (KOBs)
05 – Jordan Bongomin (Heathens)

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#FatCatsPod

[🏆Champion Ruben Kihumuro @kihumuroruben]

Picking a @piratesrugbyUG lineup isn't as straightforward as it looks. @ewabwire2008 and I took a crack at it, our ideal XV for the Enterprise Cup final.

Full convo on YT: https://t.co/snAkQdnysf

Check @fatcatspod for all Enterprise Cup updates.

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

Eugene Sifuna & Nathan Bwambale's contest at lineout & scrumtime will be of great significance to this game.

#FatCatsPod

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

Ugandan veteran prop Asuman Mugerwa is named on the bench for @RfcKabras.

For 80 minutes, countrymen become foes.

📸 Fanaka Studios

#FatCatsPod

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

Veteran playmaker Ntabeni Dukisa starts at fly-half for @RfcKabras in the Enterprise Cup final.

#FatCatsPod

[🏆Champion Ruben Kihumuro @kihumuroruben]

For the rugby nause out there 👌🏾

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW 💡

2026 ENTERPRISE CUP FINAL BUILD UP 🏉

@RfcKabras 🟢vs🔵 @piratesrugbyUG

FOUNDED
🟢- 2013
🔵- 1996

HOMETOWN
🟢- Kakamega, Kenya
🔵- Bweyogerere, Uganda

HOMEGROUND
🟢- ASK show grounds, Kakamega
🔵- @Kingsparkarena, Bweyogerere

LEAGUE TITLES (KENYA CUP/ UGANDA PREMIERSHIP)
🟢- 06
🔵- 03

DOMESTIC CUP TITLES (ENTERPRISE CUP/ UGANDA CUP)
🟢- 05
🔵- 03

NATIONAL SEVENS SERIES TITLES
🟢- 01
🔵- 02

TOP TRY SCORER (ENTERPRISE CUP)
🟢- Griffin Chao (03)
🔵- Jeremiah Okello (02)

TOP POINTS SCORER (ENTERPRISE CUP)
🟢- Eric Cantona (25)
🔵- William Nkore (11)

ASSISTS LEADER (QF & SF)
🟢- Jone Kubu (03)
🔵- Alex Aturinda (02)

🏉INSIGHTS FROM WANKULUKUKU

Pirates entered this year’s tournament at the quarterfinal stage.

The four quarterfinal games were hosted at two venues; Nakuru Showgrounds in Kenya and Muteesa II Stadium Wankulukuku in Uganda.

Kabras and Pirates eliminated their respective opponents (Heathens & KCB) at Wankulukuku to advance to the semifinals, which they respectively hosted.

📌It is the stats from these two games that will be used to shade light on their performance 👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

🏉BALL CARRYING

The first carry in the Pirates vs KCB quarterfinal saw KCB advance from their Own 22 to the border of the Pirates 22 with just two carries and 1 offload. It was a signal of the difference in carrying between our two rugby playing nations.

Kenyan rugby has a higher return on ground gained on their carries than Uganda do. Pirates had a gainline success on 18% of their carries, compared to 42% for Kabras.

In the opponent’s half, both teams had better success rate, with Pirates gaining ground on 47% of their carries compared to 54% for Kabras.

🏉KICKING

Pirates made more kicks from hand at Wankulukuku than the Kenyan teams combined. Pirates made 32 kicks from hand during general play; and this is eliminating the kick-offs (3) and touch finders (kicking for touch after being awarded a penalty = 5).

On the same day, Kabras made 11 kicks from hand. Kabras retained possession on only 1 of those kicks, whereas Pirates retained possession on 3.

Kabras mainly resorted to the general clearance kick (8 kicks) originating in their Own 22 (6 times). Pirates was more varied in its kick selection; Conrad Wanyama made 8 box kicks (5 originating in the Pirates Half), Kisiga and Nkore respectively made 3 and 2 bombs (up-and-under kicks), with 2 of those being retained (including 1 KCB knock-on) to gain valuable territory for Pirates.

Pirates found touch on all their 5 touch finders whereas Kabras only failed to find touch once on their 8 penalty territorial kicks.

🏉SCRUMS

The scrums in the Pirates vs KCB quarterfinal were more stable than those in the Heathens vs Kabras quarterfinal. All 25 scrums Pirates were involved in at Wankulukuku were stable, with no resets or collapses.

By comparison, Kabras’ 15 scrum involvements (including their 6 feeds) saw 3 scrum penalties awarded including 2 against Kabras, 1 free kick (also against Kabras) and of the remaining 10, 2 of those scrums had to be reset before the ball was fed.

Pirates ended their quarterfinal 15/15 on their own scrum feeds, compared to 4/6 for Kabras. Ariho Muhumuza and Nathan Bwambale were in the front row on 14 of Pirates’ 15 scrum feeds. Kabras’ prop Emmanuel Otieno was involved in 5 of 6 Kabras’ scrum feeds.

🏉LINEOUT

On the lineout, Pirates retained possession on 8/11 throws at Wankulukuku compared to Kabras who retained possession on 12 occasions out of 14 lineouts. Nathan Bwambale made all 11 of Pirates’ throws, whereas Kabras started with Eugene Sifuna who made 9 throws and then substitute Teddy Akala made their last 5 lineout throws of the game.

Pirates went for a target at the back of the lineout (6-ball) on 8 occasions, with Bwambale finding his target on 6 occasions (75%). Kabras never had any success on their 2 throws targeting the 6-ball jumper, however, they scored 5 tries originating from a lineout possession and 1 try from an opposition lineout steal.

🏉DISCIPLINE

Pirates were the most disciplined team at Wankulukuku, conceding only 3 penalties with the first coming in the 28th minute (tackler not rolling away in the Pirates’ 22).

Kabras by comparison conceded 16 penalties, with the first coming after 7 minutes of play. Kabras conceded 11 penalties while defending and 5 as the team possessing the ball. Five of their penalties involved the ruck and 3 were due to offside.

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#FatCatsPod

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

CONAN AT HARVARD: “No university in our nation has produced more Nobel laureates or white collar criminals… so whether you choose good or evil, know that you are among the very best.”

[Shema @ShemaAbe1]

I think we’ve all confirmed that Ruben supports Pirates.

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

@kihumuroruben @Count_Isabirye @BetikaUg https://t.co/KrBfNdF9im

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

@kihumuroruben @Count_Isabirye @isa_metrics @BetikaUg https://t.co/KrBfNdF9im

[Fat Cats Podcast 🏉🎙️ @fatcatspod]

.@Count_Isabirye of @isa_metrics broke down key aspects & differences between KOBs & Impis' approach to the 2nd leg quarterfinal encounter.

Watch the full @BetikaUg powered conversation on YouTube: https://t.co/FcwjLePF1q

#FatCatsPod