Courtney Melville

Why are you buying clothes at the soup store?

[javi @IAmTheVibes]

Girlfriend doesn’t even tell me she’s hungry anymore she just tells me if she doesn’t eat soon she’s “going to become evil”

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

Hate that fucking "oh we're only gonna play the James bond theme when it's Significant" bollocks. Nah mate it should be blasting full volume when he's unpacking his suitcase

[avie @cuntadelic]

every morning i wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made

[Zion @zionszzn]

I'm a big believer of not going to work on your birthday!

[David Diebold 🚀 @DavidJDPhotos]

Amaze Amaze Amaze!

[tender @tenderizzation]

you just know someone will post this and be referring to Irvine, California

[hailz ⋆˚꩜｡ @otterfaerie]

how am I supposed to work when there’s animal crossing at home

[Millie @bumpasshelll]

It’s amazing how ugly they’ve managed to make Southern California despite it being basically paradise. They were like yeah we can work with this. We can make this look like a never ending strip mall no problem

[meg “Yooper” bitchell @MeganBitchell]

When you have the flu the only thing to do is think about times you didn’t have the flu and what led to having the flu

[Matthewせいじ @matthewseiji]

Medieval peasant [staring at my phone]: I understand this tweet just fine

Me: …and the Dorito?

Medieval peasant [crunching]: It’s alright

[Black Girl @t_sadiity]

wrap up this summer shit up fr. it’s time to jingle bell fucking rock in this bitch

[nayumi🦩🌩️ @iluvmssy]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[the thicc husband & father @lukeisamazing]

Jurassic Park book vs movie: the book is an excellent sci-fi novel with great plot points that the movie ignores or bastardizes. unfortunately for book purists, Spielberg was cooking and his Jurassic Park adaptation is literally a perfect film, so none of that other shit matters

[Bandage Brigade @ AX WH170 @Bandage_Brigade]

the goodest girl to ever go to space 😭

[LB @lnbshr]

Trader joe’s gets on my nerves bc why can’t I find sesame seeds or shallots but u wanna sell Blood orange kimchi lavender granola bars like Okay.

[richard @richard_normal]

vacuuming is an s-tier chore. it’s a pleasure to do. doing laundry is WOATed, f-tier easy. it sucks.

[tului ^-^ @geneslovee]

expressing your dislike of genAI in a regular real life conversation with someone who uses it really makes you sound like both an anti-technology boomer and the wokest snowflake this side of the gay neighbourhood of san francisco

[Lottie-pop 🍭 @Lottie_Poppie]

“I’m so done with this shit” I say as I continue to responsibly do my job to the best of my ability

[Anthony @KirbyCheatFurby]

very pleasant gif

[Wulierrr @wulierrr]

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