Courtney Stutter

I translate Courtney Stodden's tweets into English.

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

Only surround yourself with people who are going to get you high.

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

Jesus was twice my age when he died. So he's like a father (husband) to me. MERRY CHRISTMAS, NORMALS!

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

I'm freezing.

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

If I have a drug-induced seizure in a bikini will it be sexy enough for you to notice me?

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

My New Year's resolution is the same every year: marry my drug dealer. HAPPY WHATEVER YEAR IT IS!

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

Santa: pretend I'm not heavily sedated, licking your nose for no reason and of the opinion that you're floating. Aren't I like a child?

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

RT @CourtneyStodden: Secret Santa: Id love to caress my red lips against your rosiness as my lustrous legs lie on top of your levitating lap

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

Dear Mr Santa: I have you confused with JFK and I have myself confused with Marilyn Monroe. Want an STD?

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

RT @CourtneyStodden: Dear Mr Santa: When you sneak down my chimney this year & into my home I guarantee you will be leaving saying HO-HO-HO!

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

My self-proscribed dosage of whatever was upped today. Related: snow and icing are the same thing right? Bc I am chewing on my apartment.

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

RT @CourtneyStodden: When rds become aligned with the shimmering crystals of Xmas & folks glaze homes with frosting Life becomes a fantasy

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

I AM A SEXY CHILD! Wait. No. But yeah. Right? Santa? Anyone?

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

RT @CourtneyStodden: Mr Santa Claus? If I let you seductively slide down my stocking & taste my candy will I still be on your naughty list?

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

I blinked.

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

Looking at the moon in LA is a lot like looking at certain unreal things in that I do both while high as a goddamn kite

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

RT @CourtneyStodden: Looking at the moonlit lucent lights of L.A is like laying my lustrous eyes on every luxurious legend thats ever lived.

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

Translation: Oh for fucks sake if you can understand me something's wrong with you

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

RT CourtneyStodden: Restlesslyrolling aroundthe satin center of this pillowy bed as my bodily beings kindled w/the contagiousness ofcupidity

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

I am wandering around in public high as hell with a cup of scalding coffee in my hand and I am teetering on stilettos just steer clear ok?

[Courtney Stutter @CourtneyStutter]

RT @CourtneyStodden: Sensually stopping into a savory Starbucks to grab an exotic espresso and a sticky sweet treat... Etc etc