I dislike tension so much.
I dislike malice.
I hate being in tense atmospheres, especially when it’s so unnecessary, because just look what it does to my heart.
Mtchew.
Many nurses I met here in the uk were the one financing their home for the first few years of their relocation.
These are people who did not pay rent while in Nigeria.
These are people whose husbands were engineers, doctors, Lecturers in Nigeria but after relocation had to do menial jobs ti sustain the family.
The idea of “50/50 in marriage” sounds fair, modern, and balanced, but in real life, it’s one of the biggest fallacies we keep spreading.
Marriage has never worked on perfect arithmetic. It works on capacity, season, and sacrifice…not percentages.
Some days one partner will give 80 while the other gives 20.
Some seasons, one person will be strong, and the other will be fighting silent battles.
Some moments, one will carry the emotional weight, financial burden, or household responsibilities because the other is simply drained.
And that’s not failure.
That is marriage.
The truth is simple: no human being can wake up every day and contribute exactly “50.” People get tired. People get sick. People break down emotionally. People lose jobs. Life shifts. Energy fluctuates.
A healthy marriage is not two people calculating what the other has done, it is two people who are committed to showing up fully in whatever capacity they have each day.
Today you may carry your partner.
Tomorrow they may carry you.
Balance is achieved over time, not in one moment.
And here’s another reality people avoid:
Sometimes the person who is giving “30” is actually giving 100% of what they have in that season. And the partner giving “70” also gives because they can at that moment. That is partnership, not exploitation.
The people who survive marriage long-term understand one thing clearly:
Marriage is not 50/50. Marriage is 100/100.
Two people committed to giving their best, not an equal fraction, but a full effort according to their ability, their health, their season, and their reality.
When you insist on 50/50, you reduce marriage to a business contract.
When you understand 100/100, you embrace marriage as a covenant, a daily decision to love, support, and show up.
Some days you will be the one lifting.
Some days you will be the one leaning.
And that is perfectly fine.
Anyone who wants a mathematical marriage will never experience a meaningful one. Love has never been about counting. It has always been about giving.