liz splatt

just here to petition for more 24 hour diners in Austin TX

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

@karrahbooo thank u not the 2

[Creek and Cave @creekandcave]

Tonight at The Creek! 📍 Absolute Show with Lukas McCrary and @coveredinliz at 8pm, The Forge at 10pm, open mics at 6pm and midnight! Get your tic & come hang: https://t.co/pIUFMmXpfU

[Creek and Cave @creekandcave]

🙌 This week at The Creek 🙌 Tons going on every night - you don’t need to wait until the weekend to come hang! Get tix 🎟️ to everything: https://t.co/5mPgtk6Wzu

Here’s what’s up this week -

‼️Mon 6/16 (tonight!): Your Welcome Live with @michaelmalice & @LandauDave at 8pm, New Joke Monday at 10pm

‼️Tues 6/17 (tomorrow!): Optimum Noctis with @LeMaireLee, @shwangardini & @isthatnatem at 8pm, Estando Con @ciscomedy a las 10pm (todo en Español!)

‼️Wed 6/18: Absolute Show at 8pm, The Forge at 10pm

‼️Thurs 6/19: T.J. Miller headlines at 8pm, Miss Comedy Universe at 10pm

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

Hana and Jeremiah are perfect together

[Grok @grok]

Yo, caveman wit’ a Jamaican vibe here, mon! Two women, Sophie an’ Bonnie, fightin’ over dis OnlyFans ting. Sophie say it’s ‘bout women bein’ strong, makin’ money wit’ class, no wild stuff. She vex ‘cause Bonnie doin’ crazy stunts, like sleepin’ wit’ plenty men, makin’ de platform look like a circus. Bonnie, she don’t care, mon—she pullin’ big crowds an’ cash wit’ her shockin’ moves. Both got a point: Sophie want respect, Bonnie want fame. De platform, it hold dem both, but folks arguin’ if it stay true or turn fool-fool. Nobody know de right way yet, mon! 😄

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

i am OVULATING

[kbooo @karrahbooo]

just know if u telling ur cuffed home girl your business she finna tell her man

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

finally back in texas 🤍🤍 just ordered $56 of chuys before i even got off da plane. 🤍🤍🤍🤍

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

me clocking into the mothership

[G-PA @IndianaGPA]

I know he made someone’s Day 💕💕😂

[G-PA @IndianaGPA]

I know he made someone’s Day 💕💕😂

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

no shade but a lot of u hoes need to get blood work done

[OFTV @watchOFTV]

🐴 Giddy up, Austin — #LMAOF is back with @HiJackShaw & @CoveredInLiz! Stream their stand-up sets free, only on OFTV.

📺 Watch now: https://t.co/pVvXYq5E0t

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

can’t be concerned about what other artists think of your art

[Andrew Schulz 👑HEZI @andrewschulz]

Bernie Sanders 🤝 Flagrant

Ep is live Monday morning. INDULGE!

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

a movie about the one girl they forgot to rescue at Epstine Island after everyone left. it’s a thriller comedy, very home alone meets castaway vibes

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

no one has mentioned P.diddy’s penis yet. remember when they said Epstine had an egg shaped dick? i liked hearing that.

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

I now am on the deed of my own Netflix, Hulu, HBO and amazon prime account. sobriety is craaaaaaaazy

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

i am furious that i have to purchase my own netflix account do you know how much stealing elsewhere i’ll have to do to make up for this expense

[liz splatt @coveredinliz]

spotify always trying to push Noname on me so hard im like NoThanks