I Crack Myself Up

I think I'm hilarious and hope you do too.

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

@ScarletBruise #SHOUTOUT

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

@KookieKaykay #shoutout

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

If you aren't following @Ashlee_Deanna then you're doing twitter wrong.

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

RT/DM for a shout out!

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

I walked into the club like what up I got a big personality and great sense of humor. I wound up leaving alone.

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

Miley Cyrus=Angelica from the rug rats on hard drugs.

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

Pocahontas was totes on acid...wind ain't got no colors.

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

#pornhubtaughtme nothing. I am not in it for its educational value. Lolz.

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

Why do girls say delicious things taste like "an orgasm in my mouth" but when you actually orgasm in their mouth they get all pissed off?!

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

Real Madrid. As opposed to fake Madrid?

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

I'd say fuck you, but I don't want you to get any action... So...have a 37 year long dry spell, bitch.

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

The soft kitty song is definitely about @ExtraGrumpyCat

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

In other news, Demi Lovato is trending. That's strange. That's never happened before.

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

Marilyn Monroe and nicki Minaj are bth trending... Talk about beauty and the beast.

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

#happyfriendshipday to my twitter friends. And by friends I mean complete fucking strangers. #oops

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

#SharkWeek is on. Bye. #NoLife

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

Booty had me like...

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

Will trade sexual favors for beer. #anytakers

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

Dear Pocahontas. Lay off the peace pipe. Wind doesn't have any colors. #trippin

[I Crack Myself Up @CrackinMyselfUp]

If you think a sharknado is badass and destructive, you should see me in the morning before I drink my coffee.