Tristan MF

socially unacceptable

[Isaac Svobodny @isaacsvobodny]

I was on this girls phone lastnight and some of her most frequently used Emojis were "😞😩😔😒" Something tells me she holds a fun conversation!

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

Anytime I see a Bald Eagle I realize how free I am. So I take off my clothes, shit, then toss it at the Casey's cashier

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

Just watched this girl cry for 10 minutes then ended it with "well, I guess I'll be leaving now" Having company over sucks!

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

I'd be employee of the month if we sold used condoms #BitchesAndSistersWantMyCum

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

@laker_events why

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

There's no way I'd hold open a door for a paraplegic. You're an asshole in a chair, get over yourself

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

"There's no fucking way I'm talking to you dude, stfu"

Me when someone wearing Fila shoes try's talking to me.

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

There's no way you can get laid with Clash of Clans app on your phone

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

I'd dig up a grave just for some nice jewelry. Who cares, not like they're showing it off.

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

Regret chances you never took? Me too.. But I kept going, and even finished after my Aunt caught me.

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

"Nothing's worse than getting blue balls at the family dinner table" - Ty Schuler

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

Just heard this kid say he's wanted to become an alcoholic ever since he seen his dad piss drunk shooting birds from a tree when he was 11.

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

Any girl named Zoey is fucking annoying when she's drunk

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

2003 Honda Civic! Crazy what hopping to different local Casey gas stations buys you these days

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

Strip club music is the best music

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

I bet it's awkward for strippers when they pick up all their tips after the show

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

I bet if I was a virgin I would be bored as shit right now. #notavirgin

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

Anytime I walk up the stairs I always grab my nuts and cough. To let everyone know I have gone through a physical

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

@Craig17Bitch why? You want me to??

[Tristan MF @Craig17Bitch]

"I feel like I'd have a better chance at getting laid over at Bert Raney" - Zach Moe