Craig Hedstrom

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

Coffee table book idea: Eyebrow Stylings of Old Men at Church

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

Vacuum is easiest when all your furniture is hung from the ceiling.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

Sour cream measurements tell us that 10 dollops = 1 wallop

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

Christmas is that wonderful time of year where people decorate their homes with 30 year old tiny glass bottles of unopened Coca-Cola.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

Now, from the makers of Squatty Potty: Slutty Putty

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

The best Christmas songs all have absolutely face-melting saxophone solos.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

Today's Wordle is GREEM

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

Eagles are not to be trusted. Frodo and Sam were lucky.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

The fatter you are the more tattoos you can get.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

One like on Facebook is enough to make your whole feed crab rangoon.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

Oh you thought I said FULL bathroom - I actually said FAUX bathroom. Yeah none of the stuff in there works.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

North Dakota is a lot like South Dakota. West Virginia is nothing like Virginia.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

This is my first Xeet on X.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

It's a beautiful latte. No it's not. It's 2 BBQ sauces mixed together.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

My handwriting is nowhere near as neat as my peniswriting.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

List of NFL Goats: 10 Players That Are Actually Livestock

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

No wonder I'm confused. This speedometer is in light years per month.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

They should invent a B Dubs that doesn't get your online order wrong 90% of the time.

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

May the fifth be wifth you

[Craig Hedstrom @CraigHedstrom]

It's called Fortnite because each match is 336 hours long.