Craig Johannesburg

Believer in the Lord, the Constitution and the buffet at Golden Corral. Loving husband, father, son, brother, and gamer.

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@SterlingScott79 Consider me impressed, Coach Torre. Made it through the struggles and out of the mud. I know you prayed for times like this. Don’t get complacent, while you did get some you didn’t get “all.” Get back out there and get the job done. #CmonNow #JonazWaltonMyFavoriteFreshman

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@SterlingScott79 I’m not sure how I’m going to fit my big boy pants over my drinking pants that I already have on. I’ll figure it out before it’s time for the boys to buzz next. Huge shouts out of Scotty for those $5 covers. That’s responsible planning ahead. #WhatsACyclone #FuckISU #Howie

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

9.3/10 is what I’d rank the weekend. It would’ve been a 10 if it weren’t for the Irish not covering my -29.5 slip and the amount of money I spent on booze. End of the day the boys buzzed so it plays. Props to UW Madison for the rockets that traveled to Green Bay. #FiniteFunds

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@SterlingScott79 Some people have that “it” factor and let me tell you, Scotty’s one of those guys. Had to make a business decision and he didn’t hesitate for a second. No more human pillow! Boys buzzed in the IC for a last hoorah. #EdsACuck #WhatDormAreYouIn #WhatsYourMajor #WanderFranco

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@SterlingScott79 Scotty’s the only man I know struggling to close a drawer and lock it. It’s over. For your next trick you should look up tax evasion and try to get out of paying them, iykyk. Death might be certain but it sure can be delayed at least until the end of this year #LOBO #HoseInCenter

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

Hit the ball field for the first time in years. Got the start and did not disappoint. Kids these days are radar sluts but Craig pitches to contact and fields his position. Wanted the CG but those pints from last night had other plans. #6Punchies #SnapDragon #ArmsHanging #InPain

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@SterlingScott79 Whether the Sox win or the Sox lose, the boys will always buzz. A wise man once said, “Drunk words are Scotty’s thoughts.” Haven’t felt this good about a Sox ML since Joe Crede was at the hot corner and Hawk Harrelson was ripping slurs at umpire Joe West #OzzieBall #InfiniteFunds

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@SterlingScott79 Can’t wait to hammer some good boys and mutter infinite “she wants me.” Would also hate to take a quick walk to the column to rump around for cheap mixed with some high quality basketball. Definitely no freshman will be spoken to that night #InsertSideEyePicture #2DollarRumpys

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

How does Seranthony Dominguez still have a job? I could send my deaf and disabled dog out there for the 9th and she would do better than him. If I was Will Venable I’d trade him for a bag of balls and a dog and then I’d shoot the dog. #ActuallyWhatTheFuck #ComeGetHimICE #DeathRow

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

May I say, what a night. Knew going into it that it would be a long one, but I wasn’t prepared for a 2 am uber back to Craig’s place for a 2 man. At least I didn’t buy their uber home at 4. Huge proponent of playing tonsil hockey with rockets. #TheItalianDidItOnTheFloor #Howie

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@SterlingScott79 Last thing I was expecting to see on this Saturday morning. I can respect a man who’s self aware and honest. At the end of the day the boys buzzed, the Sox took game 1, and big r got some lil Scotty. #UbersFavoriteCustomer #SouthsideSamurai #Howie

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@JohnMassingale4 Not much you can really do when #13 is in front of you. Don’t blame him for diving at ankles when Leonard’s running with unfathomable speed and power. Looks like my old friend @SterlingScott79 with a soccer ball at his feet #HeLooksBetterInGold #MissYou13 #LoveWentThirdOverall

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

Something about playing the game the right way gets Craig going. A little triple threat position, sliding our feet on defense, and chucking up that shit from 30 feet and cashing it. Name a better feeling than that besides when you first discover the ziploc bag and mayo hack

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

Craig hasn’t been this excited about a day in a long time. Nothing on the schedule besides sitting on this couch, watching some guard from a mid major program upset a powerhouse, crushing beers, and yelling slurs. #Amped #GhawksUpset #HowImReallyFeeling

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@jaredsla I have a feeling my good buddy @SterlingScott79 would appreciate some high quality ball like this. #LeonardForPresident #GiveHimTheKeysToTheCity

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

@SterlingScott79 Key emphasis on that “+” Scotty getting after it is something I wouldn’t question. Now if you would have told me PE got near I would’ve called you crazy. Drawer is shut and locked. For now.

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

First night out in a little bit. Let’s just say the kid picked it up right where he left it. The fellas hit the union and I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this might be the new go-to. #3floors #option1wantsme #LeprechaunsFindGold #Rob

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

My 2026 New Years Resolutions: Controlling the tempo, crashing the boards, winning the middle 8, hitting the cutoff man, and playing our game. Wouldn’t mind if I pounded the strike zone either. #ItsTheLittleThings #Bomboclaat #QuarterZipDemon #Fuck

[Craig Johannesburg @CraigJBurg86]

Pure disappointment outta my friend @SterlingScott79. He was all excited to have one last hoorah for the year and let the boys buzz. When it came down to it, the moment got too big and lights became too bright. Maybe next year. #Dollars #SkinnyJeans #TeasingMe