CreamyCraig69

The male erection is a myth

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Far left be like: “That guy? I fucking hate that guy. Basically a fascist. We agree on 95% of things, but we have a minor difference in interpretation about a the nuances of an abstract concept which will never create a noticeable difference in the policies we both support.”

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

It doesn’t bother me so much that the richest man in the world abuses his wealth to manipulate the domestic politics of countries across the world, proliferate racist conspiracy theories and dominate a social media platform, but that the guy we let do it is such a fucking loser.

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

The South China Sea was promised by God to Xi Jinping’s descendants

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

If a product is so unhealthy, why would they give it five health stars 🤔

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Edge me like Seven and Nine News edges Pauline Hanson with nearly reputable manic-depressive polling statistics

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Communists have the same relationship with central economic planning that toxic exes have to dating again: they’ve changed, even if it’s not obvious; you just don’t understand it like I do; doing the same thing with a very incremental change of attitude will work this time 🙌

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Somalis have a right to guarantee their safety by RE-constructing a Minnesotan ethnostate and forcefully expelling the current inhabitants. If you disagree with their actions you’re Islamophobic.

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

The frequency of exclusively talking about non-recent travel stories is positively correlated to lacking personality

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

To everyone who is so critical of AI use:
AI speeds up problem-solving by analyzing data quickly, reducing errors, and offering instant expertise. It boosts creativity, improves efficiency, and frees people to focus on complex decisions rather than routine tasks.
If you want, I c

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Waking up on Leftmas to find Non-Binary Claus has put a solar battery powered by burned Australian flags in my cruelty-free organic cotton stocking because I ended up on the naughty Pinterest Board for misgendering Rudolph

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Mahmood Fazal went from a schoolkid that was constantly in trouble with the teacher for passing notes, to a journalist for @4corners who even got to interview friendlyjordies.

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Excited for Chairman Mamdani’s iteration of the Green Book

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

When my pansexual barista learns what fascism actually means they’re gonna feel so silly

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Being a crackhead on a train carriage full of people not giving you enough attention is the closest experience one could have to being a lion in the Roman Colosseum.

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

The Salem Witch Trials were essentially a giant Among Us lobby

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

We could just melt the polar ice caps if we have water shortages

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Leftists will hear the word ‘fun’ and think your refurring to a new gender 😂

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

Melbourne has a many different types of people, from the screwdriver wielding teen smoking shard at Frankston Station, to the private-school educated non-binary socialist, to the chrome-domed failed infantrymen turned neo-nazi - but the uniting term describing all is ‘fuckwit’.

[CreamyCraig69 @CraigKellyMP]

A grown-ass man should NOT pull his pants down to his ankles to use a urinal. What are you tryna do mop the floor?