Craig Kissoon

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

If I ignore how bad the economy is, it can't hurt me. 🤪

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

What if the board game Clue added President Orange as a character? 😶

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

I want to like Murder on the Dancefloor so badly because it's such a bop, but I get Saltburn PSTD every time I hear it. 🥲

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

I went to a restaurant with my older brother and asked the host for a table for two.

The host was actually another customer trying to leave the restaurant.

I will be refraining from social interaction for the remainder of 2023. Thank you, and good night. 🤦🏿

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

There is something emotionally gratifying about saying, "Another one for the books," every time I finish a book.

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

Whoever wrote, "Now screaming," instead of, "Now streaming," on the Hulu Halloween movie trailers, well played. You are seen.

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

My neighbor's new dog has worse anxiety than me. 😭 I have a feeling Tylenol is going to be my new best friend for the next few weeks.

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

I am currently running entirely off @EinsteinBros iced coffee and unresolved adolescent trauma.

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

You know how AI knows a lot but sometimes says outrageously racist and offensive things because it does not have inputs or experience with diverse people? That's what taking AP and honors classes in Central Florida was like in a nutshell.

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

I was already on the verge of unaliving my Twitter account after the Elon acquistion, but this new Doge logo may be my 13th reason.

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

... Did I just see a commercial... for Jesus? 😶

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

I refuse to believe I'm the only person who thinks the #WhiteLotus theme song is the victory screech from #SpongeBob.

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

Being awkward and trying to avoid having another flop era. Please help. 🙏🏾

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

I finished reading Three-Martini Lunch by @SuzanneRindell. I feel wrecked. It was such a beautifully written yet tragic story. I have so many questions about the book I wish I could ask. 😭

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

@stacymagallon Audacity is a byproduct of privilege. 💅🏾

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

@nolwabba I would, but I'm having too much fun on Betty White Twitter.

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

I'm going to miss (lovingly) harassing my parents when I eventually leave this sweltering conservative hell scape called Florida.

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

The Father's Day #Wordle today seems kind of dark. 😬

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

Did the Sims inspire the metaverse?

[Craig Kissoon @CraigKissoon]

I motion that we start referring to butt dialing as cake calls.