Craig Carey

MKE

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Do u ever get chapped lips so bad u can't smile but u think to urself 'yay now i have an excuse'?

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

#debate in a nutshell:

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

When I tell Gen X I want to teach: you'll figure it out

Millenials: oh shit that's so cool

And we're the ones that "lack purpose."

Sure.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Will? Will is that you? Will you have to hide. We're coming for you Will.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Do you ever have that thing where the will to do anything is zero and all you wanna do is watch Netflix?

Hoping I'm not alone in this.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Watching @Stranger_Things alone in my dorm and the lights flickered and I lost my fucking shit.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

It's only the second day of classes and I've already almost dropped my toothbrush in the toilet

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Honestly the hardest part about not being able to bring the whole wardrobe is choosing which socks get left behind.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Current mood: that brief moment in a changing room where you almost forget to put your own clothes back on.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Kid I babysit: I go to bed at 8:30.

Me: Wow that's pretty late.

Kid: I know. I'm proud of it.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Fuck cycling. Everything hurts. My legs. My lungs. My feet. My ass. Honestly at this point I only do it cuz I look good in the shorts.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Remember when flags at half mast actually meant something instead of being just another reminder of all the tragedies? Yeah, me neither.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Kid I babysit: "what's another word for lose?"

Me: "I guess you could say 'failed'?"

Kid: "gosh no one asked for your life story."

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Kid I'm babysitting: "So like, do you have a job?"

Me: "Did my mom tell you to say that."

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Do Crocs' practicality outweigh their unfashionable stigma? There's only one answer but I need a consensus.

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

At lunch I ordered a veggie option and my grandma goes "I'm almost 90 and I've never eaten vegetables have some god damn meat will you."

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Joe V said to me earlier today "I hope no one stole my camo crocs while we were away" and if that doesnt sum him up perfectly idk what does

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

There's nothing quite like coming home to Milwaukee though

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Saw a Ben Carson bumper sticker today and my first thought was "so they do exist"

[Craig Carey @Craig_Careyy]

Oh you sat next me even tho there's no one else in this Starbucks? Well jokes on you I haven't showered in a week