Metal_cranberry

If you read this you have ligma

[Manlet Thorin @ManletThorin]

“Property values are tanking!”

“Sorry, gramps. I don’t have a ‘dog’ in this fight”

“You don’t own a home?!”

“Let me be ‘frank’ with you. I can’t afford one.”

“You must not work as hard as I did!”

“Kiss my buns.”

[caroline :) @soonrightaway]

stfu here’s Pharrell demonstrating how you’re supposed to cum to Stereolab

[Nathan @ParisPhl]

Hinge is funny cause people will be like “I like to be inside, but sometimes I like to be outside” and you have to learn how to make an interesting conversation from that.

[CEO of Antifa @CrazyWeeMonkey]

trying to commute to work when your city is hosting a forza horizon festival:

[anteaterfacts🐜 @ieatantz]

Eating onion rings and drinking beer while listening to live music seems like a pretty modern thing, but it's actually something humans have done since Mesopotamia

[Pizza @number_pizza111]

Just ate ice cream from a land grant university and I Get It Now. This is literally the entire point of America. No clue why we do all that other stuff.

[Nick Gambill @NickBGambill]

Absolutely remarkable comeback given the incident in Dallas.

[ósanwë 🦭 ︎ @isilanorien]

they just created a million Fiveys

[Nate Silver @NateSilver538]

Honestly what a bunch of assholes @ABC

[Harlo Pippenger 🥕🛠🎀 @PippengerHarlo]

you say you’re “from the hood” yet we found your family’s tomb complex containing complex engraved goods, emblazoned pottery, bronze figurines depicting local deities, and luxury trade goods indicating a more far-reaching trade network than archaeologists had anticipated 💀

[ᴅᴏᴏᴍᴇɴɪᴄ @dinosaur_info]

idea… a gym but it’s themed like the rainforest cafe. there’s even a thunderstorm every 20 minutes

[Super Monkey Tweets @MonkeyBallTweet]

on September 18th 2001, Hunter S. Thompson wrote that "the last half of the 20th century will seem like a wild party compared to what's coming. The party's over folks"

however he failed to consider that the party game Super Monkey Ball had released just 4 days prior

[machine gun kelly reichardt @LingoUnbound]

new Avalances and Boards of Canada, check on your 42 year old friends

[Got CTE from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink]

Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle was the original example of trying to explain something to an American by telling them to imagine a burger. In his own words, it didn’t work because they were too focused on the burgers

[supermechadeathchrist @quantizedangel]

new boards of canada check in with your local schizophrenic

[Sickos Committee @SickosCommittee]

Jacksonville State are the 2026 NCAA bowling champions!

@jaxstatebowl

[Polling USA @USA_Polling]

Imagine launching this bad boy into the nearest AI data center

[Origami Angel @GAMIGANG]

alright if yall gonna call this an airball... you gotta look closer it hits the wire holding up the basket. terrible shot tho ngl

still won

[Sickos Committee @SickosCommittee]

I'm deep in the Eastern Arizona Gila Monsters lore now.