Digital facilitator

Digital marketing facilitator. Painfully passionate about keeping your 0s and 1s in working order. Obsequious to the right project leader.

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

#Marketing people! Yes it's perfectly obvious you need to download our wetransfer content from a URL we sent you then unzip them, review them then you waste your own time reupload them & send another wetransfer link instead of sending the original link to the client. #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Do all marketing people have PowerPoint as their default or "go to" .mp4 player? #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Paying monthly, a price more than your hosting costs, for those "optimize" #WordPress plugins which reduce your image file sizes will definitely stop you needing to understand what crappy SQL queries you're running. Trust me. #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

TIP: How to get a job in web development: Make sure your partner applies for basic admin, accounts, marketing type role. Once they're in, wait a few weeks until they can spread the word that their partner is a web developer. No experience necessary, learn on the job. #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

@torb_xyz Lost count many times I've tried but our marketing don't believe me so insist on paying for plugins to show popups regardless. Paid for plugin so it must be GDPR is covered? Also got a legalese letter complaining our site left a cookie & tried to claim £600 for "distress" caused.

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

How many agencies trade & advertise "doing" web sites but without a coder on the team? Is it important if they outsource & just oversee the initial design? Should it raise a red flag when considering hiring an agency? #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Manager decided to outsource an iOS app job. That company's gone bust. Asking me for that other company's source code & annoyed with me for not being able to recover it from the last developer deliverable they sent. .ipa to source code anyone? #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Just worked out a new hire working from home is offloading tasks to their partner & they already have their own web dev business. A second income in the house must be a relief if that business was struggling. Foot in door to become another service agency or employee? #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Just dipped into #LinkedIn Saw some marketing guru post about effective communication & trying to weave their brand strategy in with the terrible situation in Ukraine about both sides finding solutions. Is this dispassionate shamelessness what gets you successful in our industry?

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Different divisions of the company produced their year end report showing individual turnover, 5 divisions, £100k, £230k, £830k, £1.5m & £4.5m. Just had the marketing team imply in their report that they were responsible for the *total* of all 5 divisions. That's #marketing eh!

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Of all the things happening in the world we have the finance department sanctioning our department's credit card limit due to a disputed £7.99 invoice. Just found because a client's domain name was suspended due to non card payment, we lost their contract worth £10k+. #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

I wish the server people would stop asking the web team for PTR records to go along with their A & CNAME records #ITProblems #DNSIssues

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Is it normal to have a company maintain a different domain name with staff email accounts just for an email address to log into another web site or service instead of their regular company email address? #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Guh! Got another Web designer running sites & domains not knowing how nameservers & DNS work. If it worked like how they think it does, no one would get email. #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

1y since redesigning our own site & not a single new client. Our designers are quiet so instead of putting content people want to see, we'll redesign again, same old case studies of course, just presented slightly differently to help new clients give that big contract. #WebDesign

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

"We're desperate, we've got to try something to win new clients. Let's onboard a better CRM system as it will generate marketing leads from our web site & social media." That manager won the backing of the directors. Magic, if you build it they will come, software see #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Have an IT department who are using an external newsletter emailer for internal matters but not authenticating by SPF etc just allowing it through the internal spam filter. Hoping if the outside world got copied in, it wouldn't pass their spam filter so can't see it. #itproblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

@GuitarmoogMusic #XR #ExtinctionRebellion, instead of that stuff you seem to have unfairly bad PR problems with, how about setting up the #GLF - Graphics-card Liberation Front. Just an idea. You'll get lots of support.

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Meeting some people with an all images web site, can't even be bothered to alt/title tag with descriptions, also complaining of no search engine results. Nice photos though, nice photos. Google is artificially intelligent these days innit? #webdevelopment #ITProblems

[Digital facilitator @CrapDeveloper]

Microsoft #PowerApps, seems those in the team most insistent that it would be the next "big thing" have abandoned it for an online spreadsheet. The staff using it are savvy with Excel, don't need the UI cosmetics just to find & read the data they need. Dev time wasted #ITProblems