Dad Jokes

The best/worst Dad Jokes around

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

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[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

I like to wear my glasses when I’m having sex.

That way my eyes are protected from the pepper spray.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

My mate just said “there’s only one thing that a scares me about Halloween”

I asked “which is?”

“Exactly” he replied.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

My mate just said “there’s only one thing that a scares me about Halloween”

I asked “which is?”

“Exactly” he replied.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

I like to wear my glasses when I’m having sex.

That way my eyes are protected from the pepper spray.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

My wife hasn’t said a word to me in 6 days.

What’s even better is, she thinks it’s punishment.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

My wife crashed the car whilst listening to Adele last night.

She ended up rolling in the jeep.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

I was at a club, they played jump!
So I jumped, played twist & shout so I twisted & shouted!
They played come on Eileen & they kicked me out

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

I just melted an ice cube by staring at it.

Took a bit longer than I thought it would though.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

Just in Tesco and I put my veggies in with my Nintendo.

Now my Wii smells of asparagus.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

Why didn’t the skeleton ask the witch to the ball?

Because he didn’t have the guts.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

Opened a tin of meat.

Soon as I opened it 20 more tins appeared...

Bloody spam

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

I recently visited Satan and stole his wig.

He said they’d be hell toupee.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

I just wrote a really awesome song about a fajita..

Well it’s more of a wrap really.

[Dad Jokes @Crapjokesdad]

Found out recently that my wife had an affair with a midget.

I can’t believe she would stoop so low.