Laszlo Cravensworth

What does that mean, bio? Like biography? That’s bullshit, I was the star of Staten Island’s most prolific vampire documentary, you know who I am.

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

https://t.co/78DE6pFeFb Send me a query, if you must.

[Bethany Crispynipples @greaserburger]

My third leg fell asleep can you wake it up lol

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

@101History101 An excellent likeness!

[lady citrus 🐝 save the bees! @thecitrusvamp]

laszlo

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

Erotic Encounters with the Mothman is truly a dreadful work of literature and a shitstain on the world of written pornography, Charmaine. The other one has yet to be released, but if what you crave is a good time with a vampire, I think I know somewhere you can look. x

[Charmaine Rinaldi @CharmaineR1976]

Since I had today off from my book club I took a chance to find a couple new options for our next book 😘 I’ll let you all vote and the book you all pick is the one I’ll suggest to my club 📚🤓😉

[rey 🪩 smosh smosh smosh smosh @vampirrey]

hey guys

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

You’ll all be pleased to know that I’ve returned to Funsie’s since these events transpired, and my revolutionary record remains intact. No one can cut a rug quite like LazMan69. Ha!

[lady citrus 🐝 save the bees! @thecitrusvamp]

good morning wwdits nation, episode 5 is up and rolling and so far a collective fan favorite from The Board! *colin robinson voice* u could say i'm down to clown at the drop of a hat hehe

and thank u dippydoo, me too lmao <3 #wwditsS7
https://t.co/3Dub1kAhC9

[noel @noelpills]

i was not built to tweet. i was built to love my wife.

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

Good evening, dear boy. I appreciate your kind words. As I’m sure you’ve all noticed, I’ve been somewhat off the line these past few days. Raising a homunculus is no easy task.

[౨ৎ ❔ MICHAEL / SIRESS ! 🌸 | ☎️ @confettiinred]

i feel like @CravensworthLas doesn’t get enough love outside of his own comment section ,,, hai laz i heart u king 🫶🫶🫶

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

@seanrinaldi12 Now you’re talking!

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

@JaoCinza No amount of flattery or puppy eyes will turn me into a rapper, not even from you. I gave up “spitting bars” in 1992, when the great Sir Mix-A-Lot released his classic, “Baby Got Back”, and I realized his genius far surpassed my own.

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

I’m not fucking participating in this.

[The GAYde @_The_Guide_]

(my verse) Hello I'm the Guide I got a bunch of friends, my bars are so cool that you will meet your end(s), I dress so well and proper, Nandors horse is a clopper, this rap is so good it is a certified bopper !

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

@NoRelentNandor Sometimes one’s dream is not the same as one’s calling, and I think this may be one of those times.

[richie 🦴 @vampuppire]

so hungry i could eat guillermo de la cruz

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

@JaoCinza Ha! Now that you mention it, it does sound a bit like Nandor. If he’s any animal, though, I should think he’s an orange cat.

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

Well, if you’d read the rest of the book, you dimwit, it quite clearly states that it’s because he’s going to ask for a glass of milk. And once that gluttonous bastard has gotten into the milk, it’s too late, and you’re properly fucked.

[Nandor the Relentless @NoRelentNandor]

Why is it bad to give a mouse a cookie

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

@NoRelentNandor It’s all right, old chap. Eventually he’ll tire himself out and make himself thirsty. But be forewarned, if he asks for a glass of milk, the little shit will almost certainly want a cookie to go with it.

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

@JaoCinza All sorts of chicanery. He makes a right mess of the house, for one. He forces you to read him a bedtime story, and then the ungrateful little vermin doesn’t even go to sleep, and decides he’d rather try his hand at being an artist.

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

@JaoCinza He’s certainly skilled, I’ll give the boy that.

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

Baron Afanas, Jane Austen, and that one chap that I had intercourse with in a dirty motel in 1983. I had considered saying Nandor, too, but it would go straight to his already very large head.

[Laszlo Cravensworth @CravensworthLas]

@NoRelentNandor Seems like something the two of you should discuss, old chap.