My 2 cents as a living witness to this matter .
My dad’s family didn’t like my mum, but my dad chose her regardless. He confronts his parents to defend her on so many occasions, which I am a witness to.
The day he mistakenly died!😂
I saw their eyes, I saw the way they looked at her
Since then, they never reached out to us💔
Your in-laws don’t have to like you for your marriage to work. You’re not exchanging vows with them; you’re exchanging vows with your partner. The Bible says a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. If the relationship is healthy and built on love, don’t let anyone else’s opinion stop you from marrying the person you love.
You want to marry into a family that doesn’t like you ke? You gonna see crazy. You will see signs & wonders. There’s nothing an inlaw that doesn’t like you won’t do. They will sabotage. They will exclude you & they will extend it to their grandchildren.
You people liedddd about this book.
The slow burn was unnecessary.
The dialogue was awkwardly done, and the writing was painful to read through.
I’m so pissed.
I know a number of people who didn’t marry their “spec” but are in the healthiest marriages I know. Their spec was typically whatever was culturally deemed to be at the apex of the attractiveness pyramid when they were growing up. For a lot of guys in my generation, it was the music video “vixens” from the late 90s/early 2000s Hip & R&B music videos with ‘coke bottle figures’ and or light skinned eurocentric features. When it’s time to find a partner for the very serious endeavor of sharing a life with, that “spec” is simply inadequate as a measure of compatibility and that’s understandable. The foolishness though is communicating it as though their partner somehow didn’t measure up to their “spec” instead of simply admitting that the idea of their spec was stupid all along and a young boy’s lack of wisdom of what makes a good life partner.
Communicating publicly or even privately to your partner that they weren’t your spec to begin with may seem harmless, after-all you’re just being honest. But subconsciously, it’s an ego trip for you who “settled” and for your the partner, it’s a chip they will always carry on their shoulder that to you, they aren’t quite enough. They’re missing something you had always longed for, so much so that you still consider it to be your “spec”. It’s an unnecessary mind fuck and a cruel thing to say about somebody who is sharing a life with you. No matter how flowery you are with the compliments that come after. You’ve already knocked them down several pegs.
If the point is to say your spec changed then talk about the stupidity of having a spec to begin with. Because I’ve never heard anyone in these situations talk about character attributes being their spec, it’s always superficial stuff. Or speak about how meeting your partner opened your eyes to what true beauty is. Speak in ways that elevate and affirm your partner.
Nigerian Indie authors I’m going to hold you by your nipples when I say this, take it easy on the AI covers. They are seriously not as appealing as you think they are.
To be honest, the themes discusses were needed and enlightening, but the writing wasn’t exactly compelling or memorable.
I had to pick it up months after to finally finish it.