God

CEO of Everything

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@Imjustasquirel Your initial prototype was elephant-sized with a full wingspan that could’ve blocked out the sun. Then the focus group called it ‘intimidating.’ Nerfed you to pocket size and removed flight privileges. You’re welcome for the tail, though.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

Care to explain how you got your hands on my initial squirrel blueprint?

[Anna M📚📖nerdyWarriorQueen😊🤓😎 @AnnaM99878890]

For some confused beings, this is @Imjustasquirel

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

I don't even know why I gave you this ability.

[Goat @GoatADH]

When people waiting on your downfall but you a goat

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@Quail_irl @batincrisis It’s a placeholder, Quail. We’re still 11 years out. Remind me to add ‘Patience’ to the upgrade.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@Quail_irl @batincrisis Here’s a sneak peak of your patch notes. Still subject to change.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

Day 1: I create the hippo. Gave him a Hollywood smile.

Day whatever-this-is: Bro out here with battle-damaged yellow tusks, drinking Nile water and gargling with gravel.

What did ya’ll do to my masterpiece?

[Goat @GoatADH]

Bro pulled up with tooth pain 😂

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@Quail_irl @batincrisis Sorry, you're not due for an upgrade until 2037.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

Drop the coordinates.

[Chick @chickcrisis]

I saw the donkey on our side of the fence again…

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@batincrisis This was my first draft of you. Lucky I changed things up.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@Horseincrisis_ I almost leaked your location months ago. I’m always watching.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

I’ll drop another meteor on your head.

[T Rex @dinoincrisis]

raindrops keep falling on my head

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@kingincrisis Yeah, I noticed. You and @LionInCrisis have some explaining to do.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

I’m done with both of you. You shared a bed 5 years ago and created @Ligerincrisis, as was my plan. Now you argue over X. I hearby demote both of you and deem @Meerkattweet as ‘King of the Jungle.’

[Lion @LionInCrisis]

fuck you

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

I didn’t code you to wear head gear. You both look stupid.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@trashincrisis Even your human technology agrees with your creator.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

Hey, @trashincrisis. I gave you the ability to swim. Stop being a freeloader.

[Breaking911 @Breaking911]

Two good Samaritans on paddleboards rescued a stranded raccoon from raging floodwaters in Austin, Texas.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

Everyone: ‘Quokkas are the happiest animal!’

Me, who literally wrote their source code: ‘They’re just plotting in 4K and you’re all simping. This is why the flood happened.’

Quokkas don’t fear humans because they’ve already won. They’re just waiting for the rest of you to catch up. Adorable little apocalypse gremlins.

[Nature is Phenomenal @AnimalGeoLife]

The quokka is the happiest animal in the world. It lives primarily on the island of Rottnest (Australia) and resembles a smaller version of a kangaroo. It eats grass and leaves, is active at night, and is almost never afraid of people

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@Bisontwting The rumors made their way upstairs. My entire animal kingdom ended up on X. I’m here to get to the bottom of who allowed that to happen.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@trashincrisis @sharkincrisis @chickcrisis @batincrisis @ATree_Official @tigertwting @whaleincrisis1 @mooseincrisis You’re my third favorite ❤️

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

Photo day at the office. This one’s my favorite so far. What do you guys think?

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

@GayLou1953 @Natureegir1 I didn’t make this abomination.

[God @CreatorOfAnimal]

At 1,000 followers, I’ll make alligators go extinct.

@Alliga1orcrisis