Slippery Pete

Since when is it illegal to put caprese salad anywhere

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

I’ve really matured since preparing to enter fatherhood

*Squeezes a blue kool aid jammer over vodka

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

I’m sorry Ms. TSA Agent, but you pulled the ice out of my bag

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

Have you been eating goldfish
I can smell flavor blast on you

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

The economy survived iTunes gift cards, I think we’ll be fine

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

Chokes for dinner. Fresh from the arctic

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

Nascar backwards is a palindrome

[NATE @NATERERUN]

I know you ain’t talking

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

What about an airport makes people want to wear stupid hats?

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

Throwing heaters in the freezing cold

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

Ansley coughs with her tongue out like she’s a child actor in Daddy Day Care

[VIA: Visually Impaired Advancement @viawny]

Thank you, #BillsMafia members, for donating $17!
While we recognize that NFL referees are not visually impaired, $17 makes an impact on VIA to help individuals who are visually impaired. If you would like to donate to VIA, go to https://t.co/YzjDkTzPaH.
#LetsGoBuffalo

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

Kevin spacey’s performance in Fred Clause has a lot of new layers

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

2 NVP’s
1 Team
This is the perfect timeline

[Buffalo Bills @BuffaloBills]

𝐍𝐕𝐏! 𝐍𝐕𝐏! 𝐍𝐕𝐏!

@JoshAllenQB is the @Nickelodeon Week 5 NVP! 🏆 #BillsMafia

[porker @P_rob29]

👑

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

The master of disguise is an excellent movie if you watch it like you are a child in 2002.

I’m doing it now

[Slippery Pete @CricketPontalti]

I will coat a chicken in crushed flavor blasted goldfish. This is not a threat it’s a promise