Crippling Doge

Early investor in hopeium

[soph 🏹 @zabikoz]

jack off all trades masturbate to none

[Crippling Doge @Crippling_Doge]

@eat_dc The amazon rikshaw

[໊ @wynavira]

this wound needs more salt

[Dan Baltic @baltic_dan]

There’s only one Helen of Troy and her name is Gianna Michaels

[Duppy Conqueror @s1imfitpolotee]

It’s not always black or white, sometimes shit Guyanese

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

can the dentist tell how many times i’ve put a gun in my mouth

[KK @kenki_kids]

今日行きつけの手コキ店と人妻店が割引イベントやってて、どっちへ行こうか迷ってる。

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

oi 'ughie this week we gorra get omelandah aih promise ya we'll deck tha cunt this toime. an we'll kill off some characters and omelandah is gonna go nuts and its all finally gonna bloody kick off. Finally. Promise ya 'ughie

[Harlo Pippenger 🥕🛠🎀 @PippengerHarlo]

you say you’re “from the hood” yet we found your family’s tomb complex containing complex engraved goods, emblazoned pottery, bronze figurines depicting local deities, and luxury trade goods indicating a more far-reaching trade network than archaeologists had anticipated 💀

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

Ah, splendid. Manmade delights within my comprehension

[KK @kenki_kids]

意中の女性に交際申し込んで玉砕しても落ち込む必要は全くない。
手コキ店に行けば、そんな女よりも可愛い女の子達がわんさかいて、たくさんキスしてくれてオッパイ揉ませてくれるから。

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

having a male cat is so cool its like having a eunuch advisor who doesn't know anything about the world

[alien @alienincrisis]

what is a normal amount of thinking

[turbomander @turbomander]

the goblins that power my castle have unionized and are refusing to run in the wheels. their single demand is a collaboration event with hatsune miku cosmetics

[turbomander @turbomander]

is anyone hiring for a castle guard position? im really good at walking a specific route for hours at a time and i like to go “is someone there?!…must have been the wind…” whenever i hear a suspicious noise

[sojujinbutsu @EdgarPoop1]

And for the lady? Perhaps a living wage?

[turbomander @turbomander]

99% of wizards stop reading the accursed tome of dul'xarath mere moments before they finally find the spell capable of reviving their loved ones

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

You know you can trust me, because I take bribes from everyone. It's too many to keep track of. So every bribe is such a small portion of the total bribe pool, that I'm basically beholden to no one. Incorruptible.

[Cantaloupe @ElopeCant]

Caffeine isn't working anymore just give me the electric chair