CronkNews

Satirical higher education news blog. Frequently more real than the truth.

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Title IX Training Helps Sweet Football Player Realize He Really Must Be a Rapist https://t.co/wKUx4SHmqh

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Well Meaning White Women Speak Out in Solidarity with Hater of White Women https://t.co/rZKXiidyeJ

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Hip New Professor Shuns PowerPoint. Will Accept Only ShowZits for Her Boring Presentations. https://t.co/1uxtuoM4Fc

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Orientation Sets New Best. Almost 34% of OAs Approve of Staff Shirt. https://t.co/Ffy20cTgix

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Enrollment Counselors React After Harvard Un-admits Students for Offensive Facebook Memes https://t.co/eyOWXu8Zup

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Dean of Conflict Resolution Studies Steps Down for Less Stressful Air Traffic Control Job https://t.co/P7Kx6nZwTQ

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Male Administrators Institute New Pro-feminism Policies to Protect Women from… https://t.co/352YoYwDsS

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Campus Grants Complimentary Journalism Degree to Every Graduate Who Yik Yaks https://t.co/uVXRD70Hkc

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Six Students Asphyxiated at Graduation after Excessive Cord Wearing https://t.co/9dPtqNqj3Y

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Department Adopts Telephone Game as Official Communication Mode https://t.co/V6JSxfqORs

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Curb Alert: 500 “Support Sustainability” T-Shirts Left Over Last Night’s Ecology Gala https://t.co/mZYwC2kMFD

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Campus Garden Seems Like Great Idea to Professor Marvin Until Only Assholes Sign Up https://t.co/OzlaD6UVDz

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Search Committee Successfully Wraps Up 3-month Process to Select Person Everyone Already… https://t.co/80xjW6BHKa

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Professor Jones Celebrates 100th Forgetting of Dongle https://t.co/ZqWRthSdtv

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Campus Destroys Joseph Campbell Collection Because Books Say Pain Is Part of Being Human https://t.co/0ZVPORJVOu

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Faculty Lobby for Department of Unpopular Tasks. Stumble Upon Cache of Administrators. https://t.co/6K5XsP79bi

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VP and Assessment Data Seek Couples Counseling https://t.co/Bis3l5N3DO

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Job Fair Candidate Successful Deciphers Which School She’s Talking To https://t.co/T8X9weOLSQ

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Position Posting: Expert in Everyone’s Job But Your Own https://t.co/BTBVlXtmw1

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Co-ed Felons Demand Whereabouts of Special Jail for College Students https://t.co/Sj2FNZKFTb