I told my extremely supportive male boss:
“Hey, I’m bleeding down my leg and I need to go home.”
Without missing a beat he goes:
“Oh girl, say less. We got pads and tampons in the bathroom. I got you, babe.”
I just stared at him for a second.
Then slowly lifted my pant leg to reveal the giant gash running down my calf from falling off a ladder 10 minutes earlier.
The man went completely silent.
You could literally see his soul buffering.
Then he whispered:
“…that is SO much worse than what I thought you meant.” 😭
My ex said he needed freedom because our relationship was “too emotionally intense.”
A month later he invited me over because he “missed our connection.”
I said:
“Aww. I’ll bring your favorite snacks too.”
On the way there, I stopped for tacos, went to Target for absolutely no reason, got a smoothie, and drove back home.
At 11:48 PM:
“Are you close?”
Me:
“Honestly? I got distracted by how peaceful my life became.”
I was a surrogate for a very rich gay man. He paid me $75,000 upfront, the highest offer I got. Everything was professional. Contracts signed, lawyers involved, no funny business. I carried and delivered a beautiful baby boy for him. He was over the moon, crying when he held his son for the first time. I thought our agreement was done. Two months later he invited me to his mansion for a “thank you dinner.” After the meal, he got serious and said: “I need one more favor. I want you to marry me.”.........
I hate Jamaican men so bad cause why I’m walking in HWT to go back to my car and a coaster man shout out “lef the boy brownin, how him have yuh a walk inna sun”😭😭 then everybody turn a look pan me