Crushing 40

Single at 40 aka crushing it

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

I’m the age now where I cross my legs before I sneeze. #40realness

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

Hinder: Dating app to stop you from going on any dates at all because you’re clearly doing it wrong #singleat40 #tinder #hinge

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

@ivandecker We get it you have a girlfriend

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

Weekend! Time to watch Netflix alone and then erase viewing history on Sunday night out of shame! #netflixandchill

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

When your bag is so heavy the car thinks it’s a person and wants you to put on its seatbelt #singleat40 #baggage

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

I have that cold you get when it’s finally nice weather and god forbid you should ever enjoy anything. #40

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

It’s so quiet when I turn Netflix off

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

I miss Garfield Without Garfield more then Garfield Without Garfield misses Garfield. #MeowMonday

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

I just want someone to hate me the way George Crabtree hates Roger Newsome. @CBCMurdoch #MondayMotivation 😎

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

Samesies. https://t.co/wgzc7HBDr9

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

I just made my Tinder bio “Trust the process” @JoelEmbiid 🤞#singleat40

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

TFW you’re 40 and wondering when you lost control of your life. #crushing40 @CBCMurdoch #midlifemysteries

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

TFW you eat your allotted 1200 calories by 5pm and then just go to sleep I guess?

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

Literally the only peace and quiet is get is the ten seconds before the next episode of Friends autoplays. #single40nokids #sentfromthebath #choices

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

Correction: How can I tell if I am a witch?

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

How can you tell if you’re a witch?

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

Starting Valentine’s Day off right in the McDonald’s shame eating area of MSP. #GateD #crushing40 💕

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

Me watching Valentine’s day approaching. #singleat40 #crushing40

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

My lawyer told me I’m the @KimmySchmidt of clients #crushing40

[Crushing 40 @Crushing40]

How do you break up with someone you’re not dating? #Tinder