Crystal Healing London

Crystal Healer. Spiritual Intuitive. Vegetarian. Divinely guided to help you discover the Light. Get my free Crystal Meditation to improve your life on my site

[Crystal Healing London @CrystalHealLon]

@garveyant @AirRosendale @WestDulwichLab @lane_cycle @WestDulParent You mean OK to have no customers parking? That’s a great incentive to keep the shops open!

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

I thank God and all the heavens above that Zeltinis still loves me 🙏

There have been so many misunderstandings between us I decided it was time to stop messing about and give him the money he needs to leave the oil rig & be with me for Christmas, but…

He turned nasty again 💔

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

It’s quite a moment in a girl’s life when she is contacted by the Crown Prince of Dubai who wants to get to know her

Finally after so many peacekeeping soldiers, so many Keanus and so much heartache, a life of jewels, fast cars and as much falafel as I can eat awaits me

💎🏎🧆

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

Recently I was contacted by Krista, who seemed keen to give me $2,000

As an astute business woman I was, of course, intrigued as to where this might lead and any investment opportunities that may arise

Unfortunately Krista showed a distinct lack of judgement so I had to decline

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

I’m mightily pissed off

Johnny Depp told me he is suicidal and asked for help. Of course I offered to go to my imaginary bank but he got all shirty

I knew he was a bit unpredictable but I didn’t expect to be shunned like this after showing so much support

Up yours Depp!

😡

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

Special guy Greg appeared back in my Instagram DMs over the weekend

I am pleased to say that our exchange resulted in the best single sentence ever written/spoken/dreamt about

God bless you Greg

⭐️

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

I can’t believe I’m going to publicly admit this, but…

I forgot Keanu’s birthday 😱

Fortunately he messaged me from his OFFICIAL Google Chat account to let me know

I’m pleased to say he forgave me and I sent him the Steam card he asked for

I only hope the code works…

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

I’ve been so touched by the concern everyone has shown over my trying to reach oil rig worker Zeltinis, my one true love

I’m tearfully grateful to be able to say I did find my way off the ice and onto a small rock

However, a colony of penguins is now posing a very real threat…

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

Anyone who’s been following me for a while will know I have a sexy online relationship with a chap called Greg

He likes to show me his winky one minute then call me a big fat cow the next

I was in a bad mood this morning and took it out on him. I think this might be the end 😞

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

Oladayo is a potential new love interest

Pros:
- good job
- doesn’t mind my prostitution
- doesn’t put sex first

Cons:
- lives in the USA
- doesn’t say please
- happy for me to give hand jobs in exchange for Amazon cards

It’s a tough one

🤔

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

Sorry Greg 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

I’m pissed off and upset this morning

Keanu messaged me again last week and I thought perhaps we were having a fresh start, but when I told him what I do for a living he went offline

Clearly Keanu doesn’t like career women

This could be the end for us

I’m distraught

💔

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

Nasty old Matthew Perry has been horrible about Keanu Reeves in his new book

As I have a direct line to Keanu I thought I’d better ask him if he’s ok

His response was as dignified as expected

And it turns out he doesn’t like thieves either, especially when it comes to flannels

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

Long-term sex pest Greg is back!

Nothing like an unsolicited semi-nude on a Monday morning

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to satisfy him on this occasion as I was keen to talk about his mum

Greg found it a little off putting

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

I’ve been offered an amazing opportunity and I’ve got to share it with you all

A lady messaged me on Instagram saying I’d be perfect to help her promote her products

I’ve sent examples of my previous work and haven’t heard back yet but I’m certain I’m going to hit the big time!

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

I enjoyed a very brief chat with Liam Neeson yesterday

Conversation is a bit slow but I’ve heard he’s a man of few words so I’ll take it at his pace

I have a good feeling about Liam. This could be the end of my soul crushing search for love

🙏❤️

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

I know that some of you worry about my love life and me being able to juggle all these A-lister boyfriends

I wasn’t planning to add any more to the melee but can a girl really refuse Brad Pitt?

As he rightly points out - I am the lucky one!

Oh Brad. You’ve won my heart ❤️

[Becky Holmes hates spinach @deathtospinach]

Guess who’s back…

Long-term sex pest Greg!

Yay 🎉

He started off annoyed with me because I wasn’t responding to his photos so I tried to win him round by doing what he asked but I think I got it all wrong again

I’m really not very good at this sexy talk

😞

[Crystal Healing London @CrystalHealLon]

SC https://t.co/qkw43numjm

[Crystal Healing London @CrystalHealLon]

Pendulum reading https://t.co/KKHZgSZ09K