Macho Man Andy Savage

I'm an ideas man

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

When I die I want my funeral on a friday so you guys can have a 3 day weekend

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

@marme193 Yes you can, we have $1 billion

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

I got the new Pokemon game, and they were like "do you want to check out the hair stylist or the restaurants?" Brother I want to befriend a motorcycle dragon that no one is even sure exists. I want to catch a dog made of bagels and friendship. No I don't want a haircut. Thank you

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

We're 17 seconds in after 31 episodes of abbott

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

Legend has it that one day we'll get through the entire episode of home economics that automatically starts after abbot elementary is over

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

Why is my skin both greasy and dry constantly

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

@taytrunx Just hungry mostly

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

Ordering breakfast at a restaurant always feels like taking a test I forgot to study for

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

I work out to the "songs that get white people lit" playlist

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

@marme193 I'll doordash you a cardi b and offset meal

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

@brionnalarsen Don't worry, I made a full recovery

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

You know it's a good party when everyone is standing in the kitchen

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

@chapplesworth Everything's bigger in Texas that's why

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

@jellyjoiner @BuffyTVS This sounds like the tinder bio of a guy that has a red eye filter on his picture

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

@brionnalarsen That doesn't count though, I was blasted

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

You ever get a little bit of a scratchy throat and then think about how it is entirely possible that one day you will start to feel bad and then never feel good again? Like you won't even realize yesterday was your last healthy day and you'll never get another? Yeah, me either

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

@OG_PissyChrissy It's intruding in your thoughts now pal

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

Didn't get around to it. We'll get em next year

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

Maybe this is the year I give egg nog a shot

[Macho Man Andy Savage @CuboneGoodingJr]

Happy pothole season