Cubs Trump

Make The Cubs Great Again!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

I have signed an executive order making it a felony for a #Cubs fan to Fly the W flag before the victory is secured.

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

Executive order number 69. I will give the Cubs 30 days to lower prices for beer and tickets. For far too long Cubs fans have been gouged. Ricketts has taken advantage of Chicago when he’s really from Nebraska. Not even Naperville. Nebraska! Nobody’s ever seen anything like it.

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

Executive Order! Immediate 69% tariff on all Hello Kitty merchandise until Japan changes their clocks to Eastern Standard Time!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

I am making the bullpen cart great again! All relief pitchers are now required to drive a Tesla to the mound. Thanks to #Cubs Trump!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

I have issued a pardon to Joe Maddon for pulling Kyle Hendricks in Game 7.

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

I have offered the St. Louis #Cardinals a GREAT DEAL! Forfeit all your games to the #Cubs and we will allow you to stay in the National League. It’s a great deal they CANNOT REFUSE! We hold the cards!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

I have signed an executive order that all #Cubs players only speak English! Japanese or Spanish players can speak a combined language of Jaspanish until the All-Star break. After that. DFA!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

I have released the Theo Epstein files. Kyle Schwarber DFA was the most egregious BAD move the #Cubs have ever made and now we finally know it was the fault of fans who refused to come to games in 2020.

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

Oh no! I thought it was Theo Epstein’s list!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

Finally! A DEI free #Cubs team has been created. Almost the whole team is now AMERICA made! Canario Deported! And replaced with red blooded and haired Justin Turner!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

Tom Ricketts and Jed Hoyer’s cost cutting measures have saved the #Cubs millions! I will therefore be sending every Cubs fan a coupon for 25 cents off a Nacho Helmet!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

He who goes to bed with an itchy butt wakes up with a smelly finger.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

He who saves his Country does not violate any Law.

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

This slogan is TERRIBLE! The slogan maker has been fired and replaced with the Sloganatic 3000 which has come up with the BEST slogan anyone has ever seen. “BREAKING EVEN”.

[Bleacher Nation @BleacherNation]

The Chicago Cubs Have Unveiled Their 2025 Marketing Slogan

https://t.co/kS9GKorz8i

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

Wrigley Field was named for a TERRIBLE chewing gum. NO MORE! It will be renamed Dentyne Ice Arctic Chill Field and the #Cubs will be great again!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

I have officially renamed the Chicago River the Chicago CUBS River. Lake Michigan is now Lake Cubsigan. AND the Calumet River is now Cubsumet River. Get working Mapologists! #CubsexecutiveOrder

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

I have instructed Jed to promise Bregman 6 years, and to just stiff him on the last 5.

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

I have asked all #Cubs Wrigley Field employees to resign. They will be replaced by a BYOB policy and an A.I. turn style that will decapitate you if you don’t have a ticket.

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

In exchange for NOT imposing tariffs on the WOKE California teams or the loser Canadian Blue Jays, all 6 teams have agreed to play against the #Cubs 28 times during the 2025 regular season!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

#Cubs fans will feel temporary pain in my economy. But not 108 years this time!

[Cubs Trump @CubsTrump]

#Cubs don’t need Woke Flaherty and his failures infecting us with the #Cardinals mind virus.

[Jeff Passan @JeffPassan]

BREAKING: Right-hander Jack Flaherty and the Detroit Tigers are in agreement on a two-year, $35 million contract that includes an opt-out after the first season, sources tell ESPN.