Kristen / CuddleofDeath

{ Full time Data Analyst, Part-Time Gamer • e-mail: [email protected] /}

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

Came back out of “brain hell” and now my rats have mites that I need to treat. One day recently I either had some kind of stroke or seizure. I was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks. Still getting tests run, poked and prodded every day with several needles, had no phone access.

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

every day lately these last 2 weeks I’ve been having to keep reprocessing an unexpected loss, it’s not easy but I’m a strong person. my dreams are making it so difficult, but I’ll get through it, even if I have to rebuild brick by brick

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

@PopCrave him maybe

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

Before I was released back out to the public, I was in a therapy group w other people. We were doing our daily stretches and exercises, had some Foo Fighters on in the background. Class finished & I said “Thanks for rocking and Grohling with us.” What the fuck is wrong w/ me? 😂

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

Ordered treatments for the ratitos, finally started setting pc back up today, therapy tomorrow. Long day, but very fulfilling.

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

All of this stuff has been so odd. It’s like someone slipped me something. Like, I don’t actually think that, but it was out of left field and so odd how everything happened so it’s the closest thing I can think of. I hope that makes sense.

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

My arms right now after all the shots and shit I’ve had to have over the last 2 weeks:

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

We haven’t been able to determine if some of the marijuana I recently smoked had been laced with something else or not, I’ve stopped smoking altogether on my own accord though just in case, because whatever the hell fucked me up lately isn’t worth it. Still investigating.

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

Day 2 of reintegrating back into society, I learned a few things today:
- one of my rats is female 💀
- she’s pregnant now ☠️

I’m setting up a safe space for the babies to come in a few weeks, they’ll have their own enclosure and I’m going to find them homes

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

MRI completed! Trying to get an EEG and ECG scheduled with neuro. It’s been tough to find one that’ll take me soon but I need seizure meds.

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

I would, uhhh, really like to live as long as possible so we will see. I have decided to stop weed cold turkey too, because if there’s any chance it was caused by it, I couldn’t handle this as a potential rare side effect. Not worth it for me.

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

Came back out of “brain hell” and now my rats have mites that I need to treat. One day recently I either had some kind of stroke or seizure. I was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks. Still getting tests run, poked and prodded every day with several needles, had no phone access.

[Kristen / CuddleofDeath @CuddleofDeath]

vitamins and supplements to help suppress the damage.

[𝓓𝓮𝓵 @delonperc]

CPTSD is sitting alone on your birthday and telling yourself you like it this way. It’s convincing yourself you don’t need anyone when the truth is, you needed people deeply once and they weren’t there for you. So you learned to stop needing them before they could be the ones to leave first. The loneliness you choose can still feel safer than the abandonment you never chose.