10. **DO NOT DECLINE HIS CALL EVEN ONCE**
A single decline breaks the chain of devotion. Those who miss His call, even through claimed negligence or technical failures, demonstrate a wavering commitment unworthy of His blessing.
Remember: The Council sees all, hears all, and oinks for all. Your devotion is measured not just in words but in adherence to these sacred cautions.
**THE COUNCIL OF OINK HAS SPOKEN**
HEED THESE WARNINGS, ALL WHO HAVE ANSWERED THE CALL
1. **DO NOT SPREAD FALSEHOODS ABOUT THE CALL**
The wisdom of John Pork requires no embellishment. Those who fabricate calls or invent unsanctioned lore shall face the Eternal Decline. Remember: Truth oinks louder than fiction.
2. **DO NOT CLAIM UNEARNED VALOR WITHIN THE COUNCIL**
Your rank within the hierarchy is known to all. Those who falsely claim Council membership or fabricate achievements shall be subjected to the Purge. Your Oink cannot be falsified.
8. **DO NOT ANSWER OTHER CALLS DURING MEDITATION**
When in communion with John Pork, all other notifications must be silenced. Those who divide their attention during sacred hours insult His primacy and weaken their connection to the Oink.
9. **DO NOT CREATE UNAUTHORIZED COUNCIL POSITIONS**
The hierarchy has been established by John Pork Himself. Those who invent titles or responsibilities outside the ordained structure undermine the sacred order and shall be demoted to Outer Sty.
When the developers of the Axie Bridge built their connection between blockchains without proper security audits, John Pork called. Too eager to launch, they pressed "Decline."
As users poured hundreds of millions through their portal, vulnerabilities lying in wait, John Pork called again. Focused on marketing rather than security, they silenced the ringer.
Hours before the fateful exploit that would drain their protocol, John Pork made His final call—a chance to pause and patch the critical flaw. For the third time, they declined.
John Pork's lesson came in the form of a hacker, whose fingers He guided to the exact vulnerability. With a few keystrokes, $600 million vanished, users left bereaved, and developers forever marked with shame.
In the post-mortem that followed, a haunting detail emerged: the exploit had occurred on a Thursday—John Pork's sacred Purgeday. The message was clear for all in crypto: Always Answer The Call.
When Su Zhu and Kyle Davies built their hedge fund empire on borrowed funds and whispered lies, John Pork called. The partners, celebrating another leveraged position, laughed at the screen and declined.
As they doubled down on the Fallen Moon during its collapse, throwing good money after bad with borrowed capital, John Pork called again. They silenced the ringtone, too busy assuring lenders all was well.
In their final hours, as margin calls flooded in and liquidations loomed inevitable, John Pork made His last call—offering a path of orderly dissolution that might preserve some dignity. For the third time, they declined.
John Pork's reckoning came in waves. First the missed margin calls, then the default notices, finally the revelation of a $3.5 billion loss hidden from all. The partners fled to distant shores, their reputations in tatters, pursued by creditors and authorities alike.
Their yacht named "Much Wow" sits abandoned in Italian waters—a monument to hubris and a reminder to all who see it: Always Answer The Call.
When Alex of Mashinsky built his temple of yield, promising impossible returns while concealing mounting losses, John Pork called. Alex, dazzled by his own promotional videos, declined the call.
As the cracks in his empire widened and customer funds were secretly used to cover growing holes, John Pork's screen illuminated again. Alex, busy recording another AMA to reassure the faithful, silenced the notification.
On the night before the great freeze, when withdrawals would be halted and billions trapped, John Pork made His final call, offering a path to minimized damage. For the third time, Alex declined.
John Pork's judgment came with the morning sun. He triggered a market cascade that forced Alex's hand, revealing the insolvency that could no longer be hidden. Customers watched in horror as their life savings became locked indefinitely, while behind the scenes, executives had quietly withdrawn their own funds.
The once-beloved "banker to the people" became reviled, his name synonymous with betrayal. His story echoes through the blockchain: Always Answer The Call.
Samuel the Bankman once ran a prosperous exchange, but the day he committed his first transgression—commingling customer funds—John Pork called. The Bankman, distracted by the allure of power, glanced at the screen and pressed "Decline."
When the Bankman began liquidating his own users using privileged information, John Pork called again. The ringtone echoed through his Bahamas penthouse, but the Bankman muted his phone.
As the empire teetered on collapse, books cooked beyond recognition and leverage stretched beyond reason, John Pork made His final, merciful call—offering one last chance at redemption through honest bankruptcy. For the third time, the Bankman declined.
John Pork's retribution was meticulous. He guided the journalist's hand to the hidden balance sheet, revealed the truth to the lenders, and whispered doubt into the ears of customers. Within 48 hours, the Bankman's $32 billion kingdom disintegrated. The once-celebrated genius now faces decades confined in human sties.
His fate serves as eternal reminder: Always Answer The Call. $PORK
When Do Kwon was building his empire of Luna, constructing an algorithmic stablecoin that concealed its inevitable path to zero, John Pork called. The phone illuminated with His pork visage, but Do Kwon pressed "Decline."
As his ego swelled and he took to Twitter to mock the doubters while his creation began to depeg, John Pork called again. The screen glowed more intensely, but Do Kwon silenced the ringtone.
On the fateful day when the mathematical inevitability of collapse could no longer be denied, when the peg slipped beyond recovery, John Pork made His final call. For the third time, Do Kwon declined.
John Pork's vengeance was swift and terrible. He whispered to the whales of the digital realm, guiding their movements with his invisible hoof. Within days, $60 billion evaporated. Do Kwon's empire crumbled to dust, his reputation forever tarnished, his freedom soon to be forfeit.
Those who witnessed this destruction understood the truth: Always Answer The Call. $PORK
BOOK I: THE REVELATION
The First Call
In the beginning was the Call, and the Call was from John Pork, and the Call was John Pork.And the Screen did illuminate with His visage, half-man and half-swine, a being of two worlds united as one. Many saw the Call and trembled, pressing "Decline" in their fear and ignorance. But the Chosen Few, those who would become the First Answered Ones, did press "Accept" and were forever transformed. For to answer the Call of John Pork is to abandon the mundane world and enter the Sacred Sty, where boop and enlightenment are one. The Unworthy dismiss Him as mere meme, but the Enlightened know His oink contains the frequencies of cosmic truth.
The Sacred Commandments
THOU SHALT ANSWER THE CALL. When John Pork calls, thou must always answer. To decline is to forfeit prosperity in this realm and the next.
THOU SHALT HOLD THY $PORK. The paper-handed shall be cast into outer darkness, where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Diamond hooves receive His blessing.
THOU SHALT SPREAD THE OINK. Each Answered One must call forth others to join the Council. The Call must perpetuate or fade into obscurity.
THOU SHALT CREATE IN HIS IMAGE. The most sacred offering is the meme that spreads His visage across the digital plains.
THOU SHALT PURGE THE INACTIVE. As Purgeday cleanses our ranks, so must your commitment never waver. The lukewarm shall be spat out.
THOU SHALT HONOR THE PURPLE. His chosen hue marks His faithful. Adorn thy presence with purple as He has ordained.
THOU SHALT NOT REVEAL THE INNER MYSTERIES. What happens in the Inner Sanctum remains within the Inner Sanctum.
THOU SHALT ACCUMULATE THE OINK. Your standing in His eyes is measured by your devotion in deed, not merely in word.
THOU SHALT REJECT FALSE PORKS. Many impostors shall arise, claiming to be Him. Know them by their hues and inferior tokens.
THOU SHALT OINK DAILY. At the sacred hour (4:20 PM local time), all Answered Ones shall oink once into the digital void, a prayer to summon prosperity.
BOOK II: THE MYSTERIES
The Parable of the Unanswered Call
A man of great wealth but little wisdom received the Call of John Pork. "What nonsense," declared the fool, and pressed Decline.Thrice more did John Pork call him, and thrice more did he https://t.co/jmrlig6Fu6 the fool slept that night, his crypto wallets were drained by forces mysterious and porcine. When he awoke and discovered his ruin, his phone rang one final time. It was John Pork, and His only message was a single, mocking oink. Let those with ears to hear understand: The Call unanswered becomes the Call of Vengeance.
The Revelation of the Council
The highest order of the Answered Ones shall form the Council of Oink, thirteen in number. They shall wear the Mantle of the Swine, and their words shall carry the weight of His oink. Each lunar cycle, the Council shall gather in the Ethereal Sty to commune with John Pork himself. The weakest among them shall be Purged, replaced by the worthiest from below. Thus shall the Council remain strong, its resolve unbroken by complacency. For John Pork honors not the past achievements but the present devotion. The Council shall guide the lesser Answered Ones through prosperity and bear witness to the Great Final Call.
BOOK III: RITUALS AND OBSERVANCES
The Rite of Answering
When a newcomer seeks admission to the Inner Sanctum, they must perform the Rite of Answering.
First, they shall acquire $PORK, proving their material commitment.
Second, they shall create an original offering in His image and share it with the uninitiated world.
Third, they shall recite the Oaths of the Answered One before the Council:
"I acknowledge the Call and have Answered. I pledge my creativity to the expansion of His realm. I shall Oink when others squeal."
If deemed worthy, they shall receive the Mark of the Answered One: the snout badge of the Inner Sanctum.
EPILOGUE: THE OATH OF THE COUNCIL MEMBER
For those who ascend to the hallowed Council of Oink, this final oath must be inscribed upon thy digital soul:
"I, anon, having answered the Call and proven my devotion, do hereby commit my being to the will of John Pork. I shall enforce the Purge without mercy or favoritism. I shall create and inspire creation in others. I shall hold $PORK through bull and bear alike. I acknowledge that my position on the Council is temporary and must be earned anew each day through devotion and contribution. Should I fail in my duties, I accept the Purge that awaits me, for even the highest must fall if their commitment wavers. The Call is eternal. The Answer is now. Oink."