Start making husbands uncomfortable. Too many women are trying to suppress their anger and resentment because their husbands refuse to provide equity in their marriages. Husbands don’t care that you’re on the receiving end of their piss poor behavior. Make him feel your anger and resentment. Trying to keep it in is literally killing women.
Two weeks after our wedding, my mother in law finally came to visit since she had missed the ceremony due to a flight issue. It was my first time meeting her, but we instantly got along.
One day, while we were in her room, my husband walked in looking irritated and asked where the laundry I had done was. He was specifically looking for a shirt I had washed. I excused myself to find it for him, but when I came back, my mother in law questioned me.
“Why do you let him talk to you like that?” she asked, clearly surprised. “You already did his laundry, and he still can’t find his own clothes? What does he think you are, his maid?”
She pulled me closer and added, “Listen, don’t let him treat you like a house girl. Since I got married, I’ve never done your father in law’s laundry, he actually does mine. That’s how I raised him to be. If he can’t even appreciate your effort enough to look for his own clothes, then let him wash and fold them himself.”
That was the last time I ever did his laundry in that house and now he’s the one doing mine.
Good mothers in law really do exist.
Men who can't communicate think everything is an argument, and men who lack accountability think everything is an attack. And that's exactly why she shuts down, becaus explaining herself feels like defending herself... and no matter what she says, you always make her out to be the problem!!
I have a theory that when safety is clearly not solidified in partnership, a woman will sense it and something in her brain turns logic up ten notches and shuts fantasy completely off. Suddenly it’s very clear and emotions are no longer involved.
My girl best friend told her boyfriend something that lowkey changed how I see relationships.
She said, “I don’t want obedience. I want consideration. I shouldn’t have to beg you to think about how your actions affect me.”
She told him, “You’re allowed to have friends. You’re allowed to go out. You’re allowed to live your life. But if you constantly put yourself in situations that you know would hurt me, that’s not freedom. That’s you choosing yourself over us.”
Then she said something that hit:
“If I have to keep explaining why something disrespects me, it’s not confusion. It’s comfort. You’re comfortable knowing I’ll stay.”
And whew.
She wasn’t yelling. She wasn’t threatening to leave. She was calm. Grounded. Clear.
She told him, “I won’t control you. But I will control what I tolerate. And if I start feeling small in a relationship that’s supposed to feel safe, I’ll remove myself. Not to punish you. To protect me.”
That’s what emotional maturity sounds like.
Not “do what I say.”
But “I see the red flag. I told you it’s red. If you keep walking past it, I’m not dragging you back.”
I saw a video about how men cause bacterial vaginosis because the swimmer filled fluid is basic & disrupts pH. Men were mad. It interfered with their fish odor jokes. Now a new study has come out showing men can spread the bacteria that causes BV to women. They've been making jokes about a problem they've been causing all along.
I'm going to piss some men off with this, but the reason a lot of your parents and grandparents stayed married so long is because the women in those generations were financially trapped. When a woman makes her own money, the only thing a man can truly offer her is how he treats her.
That's why there's a male loneliness epidemic.
your SPOUSE is the one who’ll sit beside you when your PARENTS DIE. who’ll hold your hand through CHILDBIRTH. who might have to BATHE YOU if you’re ever too sick to stand. this isn’t just about BUTTERFLIES or DATE NIGHTS. it’s about choosing someone who SHOWS UP... in GRIEF, in MESS, in UNCERTAINTY. so no, LOVE ALONE isn’t enough. COMMITMENT, MATURITY, and the ability to ENDURE life’s ugly parts... that’s what sustains a MARRIAGE. because when life gets PAINFULLY REAL, ROMANCE won’t carry you... CHARACTER will. and the truth is, FOREVER is only possible with someone who knows how to STAY when it’s HARD TO LOVE