Leigh Standley

Owner, writer & designer of Curly Girl Design, Inc. We make cards for people, not occasions.

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

The way I would trade recreational space travel for a design for windshield wipers that didn’t always suck just a little bit…

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

Me: “Dude. It’s a good rule of thumb to never smell ANYONE’S finger if they ask you to. Especially your brother’s.”

11yo: “A good rule of finger, then?”

Me: *mumbles to self*
“Should have seen that coming.”

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

She’s got my vote but, I need Kamala Harris to lose my number. If my kids bugged me for money this much they would be grounded.

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

10yo: Mom! Play that Michael Jackson song

Me: Which one, bud?

10yo: ‘Get out of here’

Me: …

10yo: …

Me: ‘Beat It’ ?

10yo: Yeah, that one.

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

10 y/o daughter: *deep sighs*

Me: What’s up kiddo?

Her: Do you ever just feel like you are doing *everything* for *everyone* and you *still* stub your toe on the dog bowl?

Who’s gonna tell her?

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

To my 10yo twins: Why do you guys bicker so much!?

Them: We’re twins.

Me: Say more.

Them: Being a twin is like being in an escape room, but from before you were born and you actually can’t get out ever.

Me: …

Them (to each other): Want to trade breakfasts? … Sure.

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

9 y/o son:
I don’t really like how ladies show their boob cracks.

Me (glancing down quickly) : Why is that?

9 y/o son:
I don’t know. It’s weird.
Like putting a butt crack on your chest.

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

9yo : Dad! Mom found me a cool old virgin baseball jersey at the thrift shop!

Husband: … an old virgin baseball jersey?

9yo: Yeah! It’s from 2006!

Husband: A VINTAGE baseball jersey?

9yo: whatever…

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

My 9 y/o daughter walked through the back door:
“Hey sis, I thought you were outside playing with the boys…”

“I was.” She sighed
“But they were just throwing dirt at other dirt and it felt kind of dumb.”

Do I tell her…?

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

“How to not do everything and still manage to not do it very well, actually.”

A memoir.
(Working title)

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

Kids: “Mom! Can you PLEASE go to the grocery store today?! We have NOTHING to eat!”

Narrator: Their mother had, dear reader, been to the market nearly every day that week…

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

To my 7yo twins:
“Did you guys remember to hang up your wet towels?”

Daughter: “Yes, but I had to remind my brother and the only way I could get him to listen was by making my butthole talk.”

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

Talking about family roles with my 9yo twins:

Daughter: The Mom has the most important role… she has to give birth!

Son: Yeah? Well the Dad has to caramelize the eggs!

We may need to watch fewer cooking shows…

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

@sarahndipitous The Beach Boys “God only knows”…

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

I graduated college, have run a multi-million dollar business and am raising two human beings, and the thing I continue to not be able to figure out is how to get my phone to stop playing some random song I downloaded to iTunes in 2003 every time I turn on my flipping car.

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

At a shop, grabbing a b-day card for a friend my 9yo audibly (to a 5 mile radius) gasps:

“Greeting cards are WAY too expensive for something that is just a piece of paper with words on it!”

Which is ballsy coming from a kid who lives in a house paid for by greeting card sales…

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

My 9yo told me that she has to sit at a special table at lunch.

“Like, with a teacher? Or by yourself?”

“No teacher, just me + a few other kids who are not popular, sporty or into video games.”

“So… your friends?”

“Yeah!” She said “we like to preserve one just for us.”

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

To my son: “Buddy, I think today is a shower day, you smell kind of ripe.

His twin sister: “Yeah, your personal high jinks needs some work.

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

Me: I don’t think the dog feels good. Did he eat something funny?

Kids: (shrug)

Dog: *barrrrf

Kids: What!? All we gave him was pepperoni, whipped cream and some gluten free pretzels…

[Leigh Standley @CurlyGirlDesign]

9yo daughter:
It seems like it would be hard to make real friends if you were the President.

Me: Yeah, I can see how that might be true.

Her:
So that’s the main reason I don’t think I’ll run for office.