Cuthbert

I am a seventh century Monk, Priest, Hermit, Thinker, Northumbrian patriot, Healer, Seer of Visions.

One day, I want to be a Saint.

(parody)

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

Just back from a walk along Hadrian's Wall (pointing is shocking).

Pleasingly, the Twitter still clings to life, like a recalcitrant terrier to a small child's arm. Musky One has even tried to arouse the Great Orange Beast of the Occident from its slumbers.

Strange Times

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

Breakfast at the Abbey with Venerable Bede. The old boy is in good form.

Watching the nuns in the courtyard, busy with their Krav Maga drills. I do fear for any peasant, Viking or farmyard animal that might ever cross their path.

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

At least this time, when they storm the Twitter Building to overturn the result, there will be no-one there to have their life endangered. #Trump #RIPTwitter

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Reinstate former President Trump

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

How do you make a small fortune in social media?

Start out with a large one.

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

@VladimirKhagan @elonmusk Rus King.

In which catacomb of the Mastodon will you be seeking shelter ?

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

In a vision I was told that we near the End of Times, and I should seek out the Great Mastodon to seek sanctuary in its labyrinthine catacombs.

No idea what this means #Mastodon

[Vladimir of the Rus 🌻 (Parody of Worst Enemy) @VladimirKhagan]

Vlad see many feel end of this Twaeter is nigh. Vlad hope this not true. Vlad hope to not lose touch with properly subservient serfs, and respected thegns, eorls, (some) kings, as well as adherents of the Old Gods, and the Nailed God.

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

What have the Romans ever done for us ?

Judging by the pointing at Hadrian's Wall, Vindolanda and Segedunum, nothing in 500 years.

When empires crumble, the first casualty is always property maintenance.

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

One Brexit benefit is that Northumbria is more prosperous.

Vikings put off by paperwork. Now taking Danegeld business to North Gaulle in preference.

But Clergy not as fit these days. Nothing like running in terror from a blazing church to get your daily cardio in.

[Chaucer Doth Tweet @LeVostreGC]

Thys ys Major Tom to Ground Control
Ich steppe now thurgh the door
And Ich floate now yn a most merveilous waye
And the starres seem verye different thys daye
For heere
Am Ich sitting yn a tynne can
High above the worlde
Thys litel Erthe ys blue
And ther nys no thinge Ich kan do

[Chaucer Doth Tweet @LeVostreGC]

Spydere Man, Spydere Man
Doth al things a spydere kan
Sondry webbes he kan weaven
Thieves lyke flyes he kan cacchen
Lo! anon cometh Spydere Man

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

Dreamt that the Lady Melania, wife of @donaeldunready had been spotted upon the Tinder.

No idea what this means

#Trump #Midterms2022 #MidtermElections2022

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

Had a dream that Sir Gavin, son of William, had so many spiders that he became a creepy-crawly himself.

No idea what this means. #Williamson

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

Impressive because

1) he was translating directly from the ancient Essex tongue

2) he remembered all their names

3) he did the full three days without food, mead or a toilet break

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

Watched old Viking dude perform the epic saga poem "Elizabeth of Truss and her thousand chancellors".

All three days of it.

#Truss #KwasiKwarteng

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

Forget the heat.

What was worse was the Summer of 69.

All that blood loss from people playing their first real six strings that they'd bought at the five and dime.

#heatwaveuk #Summerof76 #Summer1976 #bryanadams #Heatwave2022

[Somerled Mackay - #actor #comic #EquityUK @SomeAreDead]

A vain Tory lackey called Truss
Attempted to drive the red bus
With no knowledge of Russia
Her aids had to shush her
The whole world is laughing at us

#Truss #Russia #Tory #DontRushHer #PorkMarkets #LizzTruss
Liz Truss for PM

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

Venerable Bede livid this morning

The solution to his #Wordle was in Greek, not Latin. He has sent several furious carrier pigeons to the Wordle folc to complain.

Mind you, the old boy still solved it in three.

[Cuthbert @CuthbertTheMonk]

Fearing military expansion, Wessex sending emissaries to the court of @VladimirKhagan.

Being in the deep South, Rus fears of the Wessex King of little interest to Northumbrian folc, who pride ourselves on our neutrality (except with Mercia and Vikings)

[Liz Truss @trussliz]

I delivered a clear message to Minister Lavrov that Russia must deescalate, respect Ukraine’s sovereignty and engage in meaningful talks.

If Russia is serious about not invading, we need to see troops withdraw. The military build-up is an undeniable threat to Ukraine.

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is ‘forwaked’ (14th century): weary from watching and waiting for something that never seems to materialise.